1) All birds that live in the city learn not to mistake the street light with the sun and start chirping at 3.30am! If I was religious I would be the follower of the Sacred Sleep Sect. All creatures that didn't appreciated the sacredness that is sleep would be sacrificed by my Bazooka. Well maybe not - it is the beautiful Tui.
2) Glenn the builder agrees to renovate the house - and there are no problems whatsoever in the process. Impossible I know - council is involved after all.
3) The council see the error of their ways and cancel unnecessary funding of non-essential services and bring the rates back down to a reasonable level.
4) That the elections are disrupted by thousands of adverts from disgruntled citizens. So much so, that no one can see the party adverts due to the amount of citizen adverts.
5) The fourth estate refuse to take any advertising from anyone that voted for the Electoral Finance Bill. Wouldn't surprise me if the government has already made this kind of action illegal - but hey editors just do it anyway. Your chance to prove to them that it wasn't about the money.
6) Everyone suddenly realise that spiritualism and religion are a crock of s*** and stop wasting the millions of hours a day that humans spend in this annihilation of brain cells. Just imagine how high humans could have gone if it wasn't for religion.
7) When they realise that religion is a crock of brown matter they don't turn their energies to the climate change movement - it's just another faith based pursuit after all.
and finally ...
8) That cancer doesn't take up residence in the temple that is my body again. I not only 'beat the bastards back' Linz, but I think I annihilated them - well the doctor did - but I turned up and let them stick me with needles, so I figure I deserve some credit.