Plain English, Red Tape & Corruption

Many years back (1979) there started a campaign called 'Plain English', which was an attempt (and reasonably successful I think) to present the English language in, well, Plain English. Corporate speak, jargon and just general bullshit was to be banished from the spoken and written word.

Lawyers, academics, politicans, public servants, corporate employees and the general public were encouraged to keep it simple and to simply 'cut the BS'.

Here's an example I found on ShareChat from the departing Elaine Campbell "My tenure as head of market supervision can perhaps be characterised as one of building the capacity of NZX as the front line regulator of its markets, and bringing to our performance of that role public accountability by ensuring transparency in our decision making". I wonder if she ever notices eyes glassing over when she speaks.

The Plain English Campaign website provide some fine examples of what the poor public has to put up with:

Before: High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.
After: Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.

Before: Your enquiry about the use of the entrance area at the library for the purpose of displaying posters and leaflets about Welfare and Supplementary Benefit rights, gives rise to the question of the provenance and authoritativeness of the material to be displayed. Posters and leaflets issued by the Central Office of Information, the Department of Health and Social Security and other authoritative bodies are usually displayed in libraries, but items of a disputatious or polemic kind, whilst not necessarily excluded, are considered individually.
After: Thank you for your letter asking for permission to put up posters in the library. Before we can give you an answer we will need to see a copy of the posters to make sure they won't offend anyone.

A fun pastime is to challenge those that use jargon, corporate speak and general 'gobbledygook'. Ask them what they mean in Plain English, half the time they have no idea, they simply parrot their colleagues and have been too proud to admit they don't understand the words themselves. Sometime their complete lack of comprehension leads them to mock you for your 'ignorance' - hehe, you know you've got them then.

Most crimes against Plain English is, more often than not, composed by the public servant. A person who has forgotten who they work for and have morphed into the ugly bureaucrat.

It is the bureaucrat that is suffocating our economy and it is the bureaucrat that needs to be pulled into line - urgently. The best means to do this is by mockery and reward. Mock the bureaucrat when they stifle us and award them when they act more like a public servant.

So we need a new campaign, one that smashes Red Tape, stifles Bureaucrats and gives us back our oxygen. Just have to think up a catchy name ...... uummmm!

A side battle of this campaign should be to discourage our children from taking government jobs, and if they do, to understand that they should be a benign public servant, not an aggressive blood sucking parasite.

A serious side effect of bureaucracy is corruption - I suppose a campaign against one is a campaign against the other - cool, now it sounds like a Crusade.