Well it's official - I've gone mad!
It has now been 4 months since I've had a full night’s sleep - #*&#^&!@ - and I've hit the wall hard. Can't walk straight, can't think straight, have fuzzy brain, burst into tears under stress and worst of all, I cry at sad TV moments! That's what my girly, girlfriends do, not me! Well not very often anyway.
God sleep is so important - life as we know it ceases to be the same and in fact ceases full stop if deprivation goes on for too long. Every part of you suffers - mind, body and soul.
I can see why interrogators use sleep deprivation to get confessions out of prisoners - hell if Helen or John could guarantee me 12 hours sleep, I'd vote for either of them in the blink of an eye. Mind you that's not even that fast these days - takes about two seconds to take my eye lids down then up again and then another two seconds to focus. I am prepared to sell my soul for sleep, maybe even my first born.
And don't put me on a jury for the man who shoots his neighbour after said neighbour kept him awake just one night too many - I'll acquit him in a second. Probably give him a Victoria Cross for courage under fire to boot.
As it turns out there appears to be a medical reason for all this. After feeling like Wonder Woman a few months after chemo I started to go downhill again. Initial panic - thought that the cancer was back - not so, just the treatment stuffed up my hormones. Hormones those wonderful things that we know little about, but can turn one’s life into misery. To add insult to injury I've stacked on the weight - looking forward to the 6-month struggle to get that all back off. But it should be easier to get to the gym once I can achieve the sound-asleep status again.
So I've got a two week wait to see the specialist Endocrinologist - feels like a life time. In the meantime don't expect anything of interest out of me and I may burst into tears for no apparent reason, and yes I realise that this doesn't fit my character, but it should be amusing for you all anyway.
So Rule for Life #2: Sleep is heaven - get heaps of it - interrupt sleepers at your own risk and with no sympathy from me should you incur injuries. In fact this should really be Rule for Life #1.
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