Sunday, 23 November 2008
Friday, 21 November 2008
Goverment Workers
The Four Cats
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff. 'T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff. 'Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff. 'Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies........
drank the milk.......
pooed on the paper.......
beat up the other three cats.......claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that is why the many losers in this country want to work for the government!
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff. 'T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff. 'Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff. 'Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies........
drank the milk.......
pooed on the paper.......
beat up the other three cats.......claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that is why the many losers in this country want to work for the government!
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Random or Weird
Lea White tagged me to list 7 random or weird facts about myself. Now this proved rather difficult - nothing seemed random or weird enough. Anyway was on PCs couch this arvo and told him of my dilemma and he just headed for the computer and hey presto he emailed me a framework to work on - easy to see why he can do so many postings each week. Anyway thanks PC and sorry to those I've tagged, but I am actually interested to see your list.
1) With predictive texting, my name comes up as 'bomb'. Which some of you might say is perfect.
2) I'm related to Lord Nelson and Abraham Lincoln. True.
3) I've played four musical instruments in my life - violin, piano, bassoon and of course the recorder. Piano is my favourite, bassoon the most fun. Why I stopped playing them all is one of my regrets.
4) I used to be a lefty loser. I recovered from this socialist cancer, but it stuffed my immune system so now I can't overcome Non-Hodgkin's :o).
5) I own a house with a woman - but I’m not a lesbian (I know you all wonder). This is an increasing trend amongst those who don't want to live miles out of town, but can't afford a decent home, in a decent location by themselves. Now this definitely doesn't suit everyone, but Em & I are naturally brilliant - the key is keeping the money issues straight and keeping the palace clean and ordered.
6) My favourite album is the ‘Stranglers Collection 1977-1982.’
7) I hate, hate, hate, hate the colour purple. And I’m not too big on whistles either.
and a bonus fact
I'm a trader, an objectivist and a libertarian. Which means I make my own money, and I like to keep it.
So here's my tag list:
Not PC
Lang Mama
un-PC Lesbian
Mr Lineberry
Liberty Scott
Oswald Bastable
and probably in a vain attempt to end her idle blogging ways - Idle Vice - please come back!
1) With predictive texting, my name comes up as 'bomb'. Which some of you might say is perfect.
2) I'm related to Lord Nelson and Abraham Lincoln. True.
3) I've played four musical instruments in my life - violin, piano, bassoon and of course the recorder. Piano is my favourite, bassoon the most fun. Why I stopped playing them all is one of my regrets.
4) I used to be a lefty loser. I recovered from this socialist cancer, but it stuffed my immune system so now I can't overcome Non-Hodgkin's :o).
5) I own a house with a woman - but I’m not a lesbian (I know you all wonder). This is an increasing trend amongst those who don't want to live miles out of town, but can't afford a decent home, in a decent location by themselves. Now this definitely doesn't suit everyone, but Em & I are naturally brilliant - the key is keeping the money issues straight and keeping the palace clean and ordered.
6) My favourite album is the ‘Stranglers Collection 1977-1982.’
7) I hate, hate, hate, hate the colour purple. And I’m not too big on whistles either.
and a bonus fact
I'm a trader, an objectivist and a libertarian. Which means I make my own money, and I like to keep it.
So here's my tag list:
Not PC
Lang Mama
un-PC Lesbian
Mr Lineberry
Liberty Scott
Oswald Bastable
and probably in a vain attempt to end her idle blogging ways - Idle Vice - please come back!
Monday, 17 November 2008
Bureaucrats
Was at the hospital last Thursday for a checkup with my Haematologist. Went to sit down in the comfy lazy boys to wait, to find three ladies discussing how to brighten up the space. They had a couple of complaints that it was too dark - strange really because the rest of us keep wanting the lights turned off.
Anyway the discussion went on and on, so I couldn't help putting my two cents in - especially when the solution was going to cost money. So I stated - what should have been bloody obvious to anyone with half a brain - that there was no spare cash in the health system. I think they decided not to go with the idea that cost money - couldn't be sure of course because they were taking the recommendation to some committee - jesus!
So that was a complete waste of 15-minutes of one receptionist and two administrators, the former being a valid position. This is the sort of thing that doctors and nurses - valid employees - and us poor taxpayers complain about. Administrators are like rabbits, get two together and they just keep multiplying. Culling is the inevitable solution, but a majority of managers don't do their jobs by keeping the non-productive to an absolute minimum.
The new pragmatic National government only plan to maintain bureaucrats at its current level - which is just a massive cop-out. They know that the bureaucrats levels are so high they are slowing New Zealands growth and prosperity, yet they do nothing about it. Pragmatic policiticans - aren't we lucky - not!
Anyway the discussion went on and on, so I couldn't help putting my two cents in - especially when the solution was going to cost money. So I stated - what should have been bloody obvious to anyone with half a brain - that there was no spare cash in the health system. I think they decided not to go with the idea that cost money - couldn't be sure of course because they were taking the recommendation to some committee - jesus!
So that was a complete waste of 15-minutes of one receptionist and two administrators, the former being a valid position. This is the sort of thing that doctors and nurses - valid employees - and us poor taxpayers complain about. Administrators are like rabbits, get two together and they just keep multiplying. Culling is the inevitable solution, but a majority of managers don't do their jobs by keeping the non-productive to an absolute minimum.
The new pragmatic National government only plan to maintain bureaucrats at its current level - which is just a massive cop-out. They know that the bureaucrats levels are so high they are slowing New Zealands growth and prosperity, yet they do nothing about it. Pragmatic policiticans - aren't we lucky - not!
Sunday, 16 November 2008
Okay, I give up
On election night I stopped by the dairy to get some snacks. Selected the desired junk food and headed to the till to pay, to discover that I'd forgotten my wallet. Turned around mumbling that I was an idiot and couldn't pay. A lovely young English girl offered to pay. I automatically declined, but she insisted a few more times. I thought to myself if situation was reversed I'd want to be able to help out and pay - so I took her up on kind offer.
Which brings me to my insistence on paying when friends take me out. I now know that you are just trying to show your love and support and don't deserve my wroth. So I apologies for my un-graciousness and agree that we take go back to the normal 'turn and about'.
On to a more serious issue. Many of you are aware that my niece is a liver transplant recipient. Over at Ramblings and Rumblings Lang Mama introduces us to David Poa ...
Which brings me to my insistence on paying when friends take me out. I now know that you are just trying to show your love and support and don't deserve my wroth. So I apologies for my un-graciousness and agree that we take go back to the normal 'turn and about'.
On to a more serious issue. Many of you are aware that my niece is a liver transplant recipient. Over at Ramblings and Rumblings Lang Mama introduces us to David Poa ...
Monday, 10 November 2008
John Boy's first mistake
Well John Key has made his first and worst possible mistake (didn''t take long) by not bring Rodger Douglas into the cabinet as Finance Minister.
Douglas is the only one that has the economic brains that could have limited the pain New Zealand is going to go through.
It is the current tax payers that will suffer as they watch their hard earned money being handed out to useless businesses and equally useless citizens who have been living beyond their means.
The elderly will lose significant chunks of their savings to inflation - mind you that generation has stolen from my generation by borrowing too much in the past, my generation paid all that off and now they are going to take up new loans for non-GDP raising infrastructure - do they never learn.
Douglas is the only one that has the economic brains that could have limited the pain New Zealand is going to go through.
It is the current tax payers that will suffer as they watch their hard earned money being handed out to useless businesses and equally useless citizens who have been living beyond their means.
The elderly will lose significant chunks of their savings to inflation - mind you that generation has stolen from my generation by borrowing too much in the past, my generation paid all that off and now they are going to take up new loans for non-GDP raising infrastructure - do they never learn.
Friday, 7 November 2008
Freedom of Speech
Over at No Right Turn - Idiot/Savant attacks the National Party supporters for being Anti-Freedom of Speech after Labour supporters made a racket in Palmerston North when John Key came to talk to National Party supporters.
I know I'm stating the obvious but surely impeding John Key's Freedom of Speech was what the Labour protester wanted to do?
Anyway protesting during the election is kind of strange, especially coming from the party that is in power. Election time is really for campaigning not protesting, but of course I defend their right to protest - especially when it makes them look like a bunch of twats.
I'm staying in tonight to preserve my energy for tomorrow nights election party. I'm been rewarded by an hour long special of Eating Media Lunch.
Jeremy Wells for Prime Minister!
I know I'm stating the obvious but surely impeding John Key's Freedom of Speech was what the Labour protester wanted to do?
Anyway protesting during the election is kind of strange, especially coming from the party that is in power. Election time is really for campaigning not protesting, but of course I defend their right to protest - especially when it makes them look like a bunch of twats.
I'm staying in tonight to preserve my energy for tomorrow nights election party. I'm been rewarded by an hour long special of Eating Media Lunch.
Jeremy Wells for Prime Minister!
Couldn't agree more
Brain and fingers aren't the best all the time, so I'm just going to link you to blogs that I agree with - I know it's cheating, but they are better at writing than I am anyway ...
* Maori Party $500 blugging
* Nanny State Myth
* Obama - the great black hope
* Beware the Celebrity Endorsement
and finally humour or horror, not really sure, but well worth a watch and a reason not to vote Green.
* Maori Party $500 blugging
* Nanny State Myth
* Obama - the great black hope
* Beware the Celebrity Endorsement
and finally humour or horror, not really sure, but well worth a watch and a reason not to vote Green.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Elections '08 (Updated)
Was watching Tito Phillp Fields on the news on Tuesday night when he was asked about the cost of his campaign. He commented that donations were coming in from churches and the such like. Journalist asked if the Brethren had donated - with true balls and without blinking he said "I hope they have contributed" (or something like that). Truly excellent - John or Helen would have blustered and weaseled on.
Why is it considered wrong that Brethren are involved in NZ elections? All other religions are in on the game - and unlike those religions I don't think the Brethren have been involved in any ethnic cleansing, mass murders or crusades (although I could easily be wrong, it is a religion after all).
Hopefully John Key gets a spine like Tito's soon - three years of spineless mumbling is just going to be so painful for you all. Mind you Nationals socialist policies are painful enough by itself.
Once again I look forward to casting my vote on Saturday - it's great to be able to do so for policies I totally agree with. This, plus finding my place in life with my success in trading makes me extremely proud and satisfied. Pity I can't enjoy it for longer, but best to get there rather than not.
A million thanks to all the Libz team for their massive efforts in campaigning and education over the years - particularly to Peter Cresswell for his blog.
Update 1: Sean Fitzpatrick said...
Since you raised the issue, yes the Mormans were responsible for an atrocity - in 1857 Bishop John D Lee, under orders from Bringham Young massacred 150 non-Morman new migrants - it became known as the 'Mountain Meadow Massacre'.
Update 2: Just pointed out to me that it was the Brethren not the Mormons (in origianl posting) that was asked to Tito - gee whizz I'm losing it - so all corrected now.
Question: Have they been involved in any mass murders or crusades?
Why is it considered wrong that Brethren are involved in NZ elections? All other religions are in on the game - and unlike those religions I don't think the Brethren have been involved in any ethnic cleansing, mass murders or crusades (although I could easily be wrong, it is a religion after all).
Hopefully John Key gets a spine like Tito's soon - three years of spineless mumbling is just going to be so painful for you all. Mind you Nationals socialist policies are painful enough by itself.
Once again I look forward to casting my vote on Saturday - it's great to be able to do so for policies I totally agree with. This, plus finding my place in life with my success in trading makes me extremely proud and satisfied. Pity I can't enjoy it for longer, but best to get there rather than not.
A million thanks to all the Libz team for their massive efforts in campaigning and education over the years - particularly to Peter Cresswell for his blog.
Update 1: Sean Fitzpatrick said...
Since you raised the issue, yes the Mormans were responsible for an atrocity - in 1857 Bishop John D Lee, under orders from Bringham Young massacred 150 non-Morman new migrants - it became known as the 'Mountain Meadow Massacre'.
Update 2: Just pointed out to me that it was the Brethren not the Mormons (in origianl posting) that was asked to Tito - gee whizz I'm losing it - so all corrected now.
Question: Have they been involved in any mass murders or crusades?
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Chill
How others react to my terminal cancer ranges from funny, to confusing, to just plain annoying.
It was portrayed to me that my month long blog silence upset a few people the other month. Some thought I had walked off this mortal coil (or was about to) and thus they started to freak out. Sorry about that I'll try to be more communicative, but at the time all I would have said was "I feel sick - god I'm going to vomit - shit this sucks - where are the real pain killers?" As you can see I'm a big baby when the pain kicks in - after all it was just for a sore shoulder.
Now I have to say I don't understand this getting all stressed out and freaky. What is there possibly to freak out about, we all know the outcome of this illness, we just don't know when, there's been plenty of time to come to grips with it. So stressing every time I go to see the doctor or just have an off day is really going to make life hell for all of us.
For the record, so you can relax a little, after I die a friend will post a blog letting you all know - so there's no need to second guess what's going on or freak my family and friends out with hysterical emails/calls/txts.
Others have said that they are scared to phone me. I have asked close friends what this might mean, but all they say is that they "understand". That doesn't answer my question and quite frankly makes me slightly paranoid - am I really scary? I know I can throw a wobbly if you don't let me buy lunch, but to be quite frank I've already told you I'm paying (can't take $$ with you) and the fact that you ignore me or make a stupid fuss of it all is just plain annoying and you're lucky a wobbly is all you get. Maybe they really mean 'uncomfortable' rather than scared - please don't - if I'm not up for a conversation or a visit I will tell you. Sometimes you might catch me in a bit of a mood, but I don't think that this qualifies as scary.
Now I appreciate that this is a difficult period - some of you have been through this, usually with an older relative true, but still it can't be easy. I try to help you all by talking about it - surely I must bore the pants off you all with the talk, talk, talk. But really the fact is we all die eventually and sure cancer isn't the greatest way to go, and sure 40 is way too young, but I can think of a lot worse so let's just make the best of it, relax and get on with life.
Ringo Starr would say "peace and love", I say "chill".
It was portrayed to me that my month long blog silence upset a few people the other month. Some thought I had walked off this mortal coil (or was about to) and thus they started to freak out. Sorry about that I'll try to be more communicative, but at the time all I would have said was "I feel sick - god I'm going to vomit - shit this sucks - where are the real pain killers?" As you can see I'm a big baby when the pain kicks in - after all it was just for a sore shoulder.
Now I have to say I don't understand this getting all stressed out and freaky. What is there possibly to freak out about, we all know the outcome of this illness, we just don't know when, there's been plenty of time to come to grips with it. So stressing every time I go to see the doctor or just have an off day is really going to make life hell for all of us.
For the record, so you can relax a little, after I die a friend will post a blog letting you all know - so there's no need to second guess what's going on or freak my family and friends out with hysterical emails/calls/txts.
Others have said that they are scared to phone me. I have asked close friends what this might mean, but all they say is that they "understand". That doesn't answer my question and quite frankly makes me slightly paranoid - am I really scary? I know I can throw a wobbly if you don't let me buy lunch, but to be quite frank I've already told you I'm paying (can't take $$ with you) and the fact that you ignore me or make a stupid fuss of it all is just plain annoying and you're lucky a wobbly is all you get. Maybe they really mean 'uncomfortable' rather than scared - please don't - if I'm not up for a conversation or a visit I will tell you. Sometimes you might catch me in a bit of a mood, but I don't think that this qualifies as scary.
Now I appreciate that this is a difficult period - some of you have been through this, usually with an older relative true, but still it can't be easy. I try to help you all by talking about it - surely I must bore the pants off you all with the talk, talk, talk. But really the fact is we all die eventually and sure cancer isn't the greatest way to go, and sure 40 is way too young, but I can think of a lot worse so let's just make the best of it, relax and get on with life.
Ringo Starr would say "peace and love", I say "chill".
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