New Zealand's Loser Models

Complaints have been made that the latest reality abomination - New Zealand's Next Top Model - does not meet some kind of racial diversity criteria.

Those races that are not represented in this appalling show should be proud that their young woman haven't joined the ranks of these shrieking, grumpy, miserable, underfed, female embarrassments. Christ my pre-teen nieces don't scream like that anymore - well except when they jump into a pool set at 14 degrees celsius, but fair enough, even their Aunty would let out a few choice swear words at that temperature and that's coming from a woman that doesn't even squeak when bungy jumping .

Please, put your brain in gear and spend your hand ringing hours worrying that your young women aren't represented in science, engineering, business, finance and the such like, not some useless modelling programme that is just designed to make them all look like fools.

RobiNZ

RobiNZ appears to be from the "this pisses me off" brigade - welcome.

New Zealand quiz shows always have chatty irritating people - I actively hope they don't win, in fact a sudden brain aneurysm would be fantastic. So I don't watch them and it's such a shame as I love quiz shows and every single New Zealand quiz show is absolutely appalling.

Also I wonder if they are rigged - how does one get on this show if one is not a bubbly dimwit with the IQ of a 2-year-old.

TV advertising - stop the abuse

Now speaking of advertising, I have to complain bitterly about TV adverts - yes I know this isn't new complaint - but I have some solutions.

TV & advertising executives are concern about the lack of eyeballs watching the adverts. They believe that viewers switch the volume off or watch via MySky and skip the ads altogether. Now the MySky issue I believe is relatively minor - not that many households have MySky and don't always view TV via MySky anyway - but this could become more of a problem with MyFreeview.

But the mute button is most definitely an issue and one that I practice regularly, for my own sanity. Remotes have been around for decades, but I haven't bothered with muting until more recently. Adverts and their presentation have changed for the worst, it is the advertising executives that are to blame and here are some of my suggestions to slow the eyeball drain.

* decrease the volume of adverts - yes I know you say that the volume isn't increased, but really you're either lying or deaf. The result is we reach for the remote to decrease the volume and since we have bother to pick it up, we might as well just mute the whole ad break.

* stop the impossibly stressful high rotation of ads. The Cigna funeral ad is by itself a good ad, but once you see it twice every ad break I'm ready to smash my head against a brick wall.

* stop the shouting male voice over - I'm not deaf, once again you stress me out and I'm not going to think positively about your product/service.

* stop making the adverts so aggressive with continuous violence and smashing - once again BLOODY STRESSFUL.

* stop using voice over woman that talk either like a little child or a porn star. It frankly sounds ridiculous - I land up just mocking the product and make a point of not buying it.

And here's an idea - try programming some decent shows and we might bother to switch on in the first place. 2008 produced the shortest list of quality TV I've ever seen:
* House MD
* City Homicide
* The Daily Show
* M*A*S*H (yes it's replaying on Prime)
* Ice Road Truckers
* Outrageous Fortune
* Rove
* Back Benches
* Agenda - sadly cancelled
* Media 7
* Piha Rescue
There are possibly others? But can't think of them at the moment.

So put simply, stop ANNOYING, STRESSING and BULLING the poor TV viewer - you'll find that if we are in more relaxed frame-of-mind we will just sit there and mindlessly watch your ads - possibly even happily.

Side Issue 1: To combat the eyeball problem, product placement has become more common practice. Don't mind this at all, great idea, but suggest that it needs to make sense or it will just look stupid - for example - the latest 007 movie placed Gordons Gin in a cocktail recipe on a first-class flight. You have to be kidding - Bond would never drink Gordons and first-class would never serve it. They would have Tanqueray - or maybe the lesser Bombay Sapphire!

Side Issue 2: What's with the perfume ads lately - they look like they are made in Europe and are frankly bizarre and amateurish. Maybe they should think about making them in New Zealand - because I may complain about the issues around our TV advertising, but our advertising production teams do come up with some classic ads.