Chemo #3

Well back at hospital today for the week for Chemo #3. CT scan at 2.30pm, but imagine I won’t get results until tomorrow morning at the next doctor’s rounds.

But good news – they have halved my steroid dosage – hopefully freak status reduces, along with wanting to eat the whole fridge every few seconds.

Here is the only photo I’ll let released at the moment of me and my darling nieces (DN1, 2 & 3). DN2 is also up here at Auckland in StarShip with a blocked bile duct – which they have operated on and hopefully she’ll be allowed to go home soon – she is getting really, really bored, but in true DN2 style is still going strong and great to be around. This is of course nothing but convenient for the family – one visit, two patients.

Fortunately, I’m very mobile so I just wander around the hospital whenever I feel like it. And now I’ve been set up with a Vodafone connection on my laptop, so happily sitting looking out the window at the trees of the domain and keeping in contact with everyone. Feel more like a human being connected to the world.

Warning: contains religious content

I'm never shy to discuss a topic, and since friends - and strangers - seem to be bringing up religion at regular intervals at the moment, I feel free to raise this topic all over again - don't blame me, you guys started it.

I thought everyone knew that I was a die hard atheist, but since it still is a topic of conversation obviously some think that since the end of my life is in the foreseeable future I would suddenly find some kind of spiritual belief and go against a lifetime of knowledge. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm still a staunch atheist and will be to the end. In fact, if at all possible I'm stauncher.

Some of my more humours agnostic friends have asked me to tap them on the shoulder if there is something on the other side, but since I feel they might have a tendency to be a little to eager to see me around, I've decided that I will only tap my other die hard atheist friends on the shoulder - these guys are less likely to see or hear things :o)

But seriously, this does raise the topic of my survival. I know that because I don't pray, or meditate, or spend my days with continuous 'positive thoughts', some of you will be thinking that I have wiped out my chances and if only I turned to the spiritual world I would be saved or add on extra years to my prognosis. A study done in Melbourne has shown what I thought would have been blatantly obvious that positive thinking makes no difference to surviving cancer and I add the same to prayer and meditation. The pressure that is put on patients to be positive all the time is just plain cruel. About the only thing staying positive probably will do is make life easier for friends, family and nurses - and in this matter I think I have a good attitude and am more than happy to discuss the whole cancer and dying issue to anyone who can handle it. And I'm happy to say that most can.

Then there is the other religion that seems to be completely faith based - the alternative health treatments. Having spent most of my life eating whole foods and avoiding chemicals I still managed to get cancer. I continued this health kick (except for my daily Gingernut fix) during my last bout of cancer but this didn't stop it returning. Another Melbourne study also debunk such things as Supplements and Green Tea.

Every alternative therapy that I've read about has absolutely no evidence that they work, yet the advocates talk like these treatments are miracle cures - they will advertise the case of one outlying patient 'that had been sent home to die' by the doctors, but had taken on this alternative treatment or other and survived. Never mind that they had been on chemo and radiation for that last year. Never mind that no studies are ever done on these alternative treatments. And never mind that they simply don't work - the pressure to pursue all this stuff is incredibly invasive and somewhat stressful.

But I'm starting to rave, so I'll sign off now :o)

PS: CT scan on Monday - so big day to see if the tumour is shrinking, or not. And no I'm not having thoughts (positive or negative) about this outcome - just simply a little nervous.

I don't get it

I'm struggling to understand how NZ First is actually still a registered party. Shouldn't they be struck off for not paying the money back?

Even if they do successfully find a charity to take the money, there legal obligation to pay the money back has not been met. I wonder how this will play out?

Mr Lineberry rises again

Yay! Elijah is back.

Brain Tumour Buddy

The strangest thing about this brain tumour complication of mine is that there are three of us Non-Hodgkin's patients with the same brain tumour complication - all came in the last month.

They think that is just because more of us a surviving quite aggressive Non-Hodgkin's with the R-CHOP treatment. Anyway, I met one of my Brain Tumour Buddy's (BTB) this week, so we spent the wee hours of the nights talking about our treatment, plans for the time we have and that we will beat the 3-6 month time frame. BTB is going for 10 years :o)

It was good to have someone that understands that it is terminal - most others in the ward are Leukemia patients and although some won't make it, they haven't been given a terminal diagnosis so generally don't think or talk about it.

BTB has a great attitude - full of energy, chomping at the bit to get out of hospital to sort out all his affairs so he can relax and concentrate of his treatments and enjoy his hobbies. He has teenage kids (which adds a stress I just don't let myself think about) so will be spending as much time with them as possible with them.

BTB lives close by (my soon to be completed) house in Mt Eden, so it'll be good to keep in contact.

Chemo #2

Well Monday I was up at the crack of dawn (god, how do you guys to it - totally unnatural) to get across town to Auckland Hospital for a PICC line insertion. Two hours later (due to really naff veins) and much bruising I came out with a much treasured PICC line and strict instructions not to stuff it up. I must say I was the model patient, forcing them to keep at it when they didn't want to. It was really quite simple, without the PICC line they couldn't do the chemo that day - no chemo, big tumour.

The rest of the day was spent having saline pumped into me so I bloated up like a big bloated, bloat fish. What with this and 3 weeks of steroids I can't even recognise myself in the mirror - have just stopped looking now.

About 10pm the chemo went in - 8gm of Methotrexate - they let that stew for 24 hours and then start on folinic acid to take the Methotrexate out again and help reduce the damage to my body. This continues until the Methotrexate level is <0.05 - then I'm allowed to go home. This happened yesterday, so I'm now happily ensconced on the couch at Mum & Dad's and enjoy the peace and quite of the countryside.

Apart from the boredom of being in hospital the chemo isn't too bad, slightly easier than the last time - doesn't seem to rip my intestines out - so I'm happy enough.

So I now have a week off and return for chemo #3 on the 23rd which also includes another CT scan, which will tell us if this is working or not.

Bugger!

Well what a difference 3 hours makes in one's life. I literally met with my Haematologist at 8.30am on Tuesday the 20th to be informed that the latest CT scan had come back well and the cancer was still away. At 11.30am I had a seizure and was rushed to ED, followed by a CT scan of the head to find that the cancer has spread to the brain and is approximately 5cm in size. Fortunately my trading partner Marc was with me at the time and was able to get me to hospital rather promptly (poor bugger).

As you can appreciate a tumour in the brain is not good, treatment is difficult through the brain barrier, so I have to say that the odds of full recovery is only about 2-5%. The initial diagnose from the admitting doctors gave me a survival time of 3-6 months. However, they have been a little more positive than this since and we will look at this time frame again after my next CT scan in a couple of weeks. But in essence it is terminal.

I have had one chemo treatment already and another coming up in a week on the 9th of June. Following this I receive another CT that will show if I am responding to the chemo (or not). If responding then it is full on chemo (probably with steam cell transplants) and this should extend my time frame - no idea how long, it is just going to be a wait and see kind of thing.

So the first week I was fairly shattered emotionally and was suffering a very sore neck and was rather fuzzy brain, but feel much better now and the brain functions reasonably well (well no major complaints). So I'm back at work for this week and will drag my laptop into the hospital for the week of the 9th.

Sorry for the rather frank diagnose, but that's life and hopefully that chemo can get through to the tumour and I can push out a few more years - we shall see.

PS: that isn't my head scan - still haven't seen it. It sits deep in the left side of the brain and will probably cause right side motor skills problems, but shouldn't effect my personality too much :o). Well that's the theory so far.

Worse off? Good!

I just have three things to say about Ruth Dysons little hissy fit today:

1) Good bloody job - about time. The difference between lowest wage earner and the beneficiary should be pegged at 30%. Of course under a Libertarian government that rate would be set by your insurer, should you take out insurance, or by your local charity.

2) Of course beneficiaries are worse off - we are all worse off - we are all going down the toilet together - you'd think that would make the politicians happy, they've always wanted equality above all else. Equality = Poverty.

3) It is the productive citizens of this country that raise the standard of living for everyone - blugger or not. The producers have had decade, after decade, after decade of heavy taxes, red tape, hatred and the life generally sucked out of them. Many of the productive have raised one finger on both hands, turned to face Wellington and then left on the next non-Air NZ plane available. Others have struggled on, frustrated that if they were left alone they could create business empires and as a by-product, employ more people, both able and disable. I remember when I was young, there was often one member of staff that was mentally disable that would make the morning tea (or some such occupation). Now the minimum wage doesn't make this viable - to name just one impediment to their employment.

The Communists/Socialists of this country (Labour, National, Greens, NZ First and now it appears ACT) need the productive to steal from - why they want to stop production is just simply baffling.

Q: Why do you think Prebble loved capitalism so much?
A: It gave him access to a larger pile of money to steal from.

Movie: 2 Days in Paris

A friend kindly took me to see '2 Days in Paris' the other day and I must say I laughed out loud - excellent movie.

Many people that have seen the movie haven't like it much, probably because most people that go to see films about the French seem to like the French. I personally have very little time for the French culture with its whingy, whinny, socialist tendencies - 2 Days turned out to be perfect for me.

The story revolves around a French/American couple who stop for 2 days in Paris to meet her family - cultural and language differences make for the most amusing viewing.

Another reason to rush off and see 2 Days is to view another great performance by Adam Goldberg. Goldberg would have to be one of my favourite actors and one we don't see enough of in main roles, although he seems to keep busy none-the-less. Julie Delphy wrote, directed and starred in the movie - which sounds awfully clever and probably is.

Anyway I think it's worth a look.

My apologies Mr Perigo

When I first started down the road of political enlightenment - nearly 15 years ago now - I had a conversation with Lindsay Perigo about the increasing taxes on cigarettes and alcohol. At the time Lindsay said that butter and coffee would be next. I inwardly scoffed (too scared to do this outwardly of course) and thought 'what is this guy on'? Made a comment to the effect that Nanny State would never get this out of line.

Well it appears that I owe Mr Perigo a huge apology (bottle of red on it's way). It appears that I was totally ignorant of how far Nanny and her servants are prepared to go, in fact the controls are turning into a Tsunami - ready to swamp us and smash what remains of our freewill to death - I think it has become unstoppable.

Secretly I hope that Labour win a further term. Why? Because Labour will continue on, at an ever increasing rate, to take control of more and more facets of our lives. Maybe when we aren't allowed to freely eat butter and drink coffee, will the populous stand up in enough numbers and say fuck off. Cause at the moment they are just saying, 'please Mummy Clark, please tell me what to do, I am so useless and stupid I can't possibly manage on my own'.

More on this when I've calmed down - christ I'm pissed off - and most pissed of with those that voted for this. What the hell are you thinking - oh I forgot, thinking is just too hard for your poor wee brains. Don't panic just look over your shoulder - there's Nanny no need to think anymore.

Hat tip: Oswald Bastable.

Remove the Red Tape, the Fibre Optics will follow

Yes, National is right, we do need better broadband coverage in New Zealand, and yes they are right, Telecos are reluctant to upgrade the telecommunications infrastructure. However the solution is not more government intervention it is less ... way less.

We need to look at the reasons why private equity is not flowing into our infrastructure (telecommunications or otherwise). All business decisions ultimately boil down to risk. With infrastructure the main risk is political risk. There is a real fear amongst our business leaders that the government, with a stroke of a pen, will steal assets by nationalising them (in full or in part) or with another stroke tilting the playing field and vamoose, profit is gone. Taken by those that - on average - couldn't make a profitable decision to save themselves.

National just needs to do the following:
1) repeal the Resource Management Act. I know it's hard to admit when you are wrong, but this monster of red tape has morphed into an unholy mess of corruption and is strangling the very heartbeat of the New Zealand economy.

2) once they are in power, remove any legislation that doesn't provide a level playing field and swear that they will not pass any further legislation that restricts our businessmen and their activities.

3) show a strong commitment to private property rights - stop stealing from NZ businesses and from its citizens. Talk about it at every opportunity. Replace the word 'sustainability' with 'property rights'.

Do this and entrepreneurs (Kiwi or otherwise) will have the confidence to invest and infrastructure concerns will be a thing of the past.

The complete lack of business nous is understandable if we were talking about Labour or the Greens, but the National Party? It's just plain unbelievable.

Smoking

Well I thought it was funny!

Plain English, Red Tape & Corruption

Many years back (1979) there started a campaign called 'Plain English', which was an attempt (and reasonably successful I think) to present the English language in, well, Plain English. Corporate speak, jargon and just general bullshit was to be banished from the spoken and written word.

Lawyers, academics, politicans, public servants, corporate employees and the general public were encouraged to keep it simple and to simply 'cut the BS'.

Here's an example I found on ShareChat from the departing Elaine Campbell "My tenure as head of market supervision can perhaps be characterised as one of building the capacity of NZX as the front line regulator of its markets, and bringing to our performance of that role public accountability by ensuring transparency in our decision making". I wonder if she ever notices eyes glassing over when she speaks.

The Plain English Campaign website provide some fine examples of what the poor public has to put up with:

Before: High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.
After: Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.

Before: Your enquiry about the use of the entrance area at the library for the purpose of displaying posters and leaflets about Welfare and Supplementary Benefit rights, gives rise to the question of the provenance and authoritativeness of the material to be displayed. Posters and leaflets issued by the Central Office of Information, the Department of Health and Social Security and other authoritative bodies are usually displayed in libraries, but items of a disputatious or polemic kind, whilst not necessarily excluded, are considered individually.
After: Thank you for your letter asking for permission to put up posters in the library. Before we can give you an answer we will need to see a copy of the posters to make sure they won't offend anyone.

A fun pastime is to challenge those that use jargon, corporate speak and general 'gobbledygook'. Ask them what they mean in Plain English, half the time they have no idea, they simply parrot their colleagues and have been too proud to admit they don't understand the words themselves. Sometime their complete lack of comprehension leads them to mock you for your 'ignorance' - hehe, you know you've got them then.

Most crimes against Plain English is, more often than not, composed by the public servant. A person who has forgotten who they work for and have morphed into the ugly bureaucrat.

It is the bureaucrat that is suffocating our economy and it is the bureaucrat that needs to be pulled into line - urgently. The best means to do this is by mockery and reward. Mock the bureaucrat when they stifle us and award them when they act more like a public servant.

So we need a new campaign, one that smashes Red Tape, stifles Bureaucrats and gives us back our oxygen. Just have to think up a catchy name ...... uummmm!

A side battle of this campaign should be to discourage our children from taking government jobs, and if they do, to understand that they should be a benign public servant, not an aggressive blood sucking parasite.

A serious side effect of bureaucracy is corruption - I suppose a campaign against one is a campaign against the other - cool, now it sounds like a Crusade.

Pea, Pee or P

A friend of mine emailed this to me:
".... I ask 4-year old* if she would like to go and see 'The Princess and the Pea' at the theatre, and she asks 'Does the princess pee on stage?'.

Then I ask husband* if he would like to take daughter to see 'The Princess and the P' at the theatre, and he asks 'What, is it about drugs?'

Don't you love the English language.

* Names obscured to protect the very young and the very stupid.

Green-apes

Finally caught up with the weekend papers and spied a great Sunday Hearld column by the charming Kerry Woodham titled "Up yours, Greenpeace".

I too was a member of Greenpeace in my youth - not entirely sure why now, but it probably had something to do with my brain dead vegetarian years, not entirely sure why I did that either. Funnily enough all coincided with my socialist period - thank god I've got an excuse for embarrassing lapse in rationality - obviously not enough braincells to think clearly.

Anyway, the other day a Greenpeace lass knocked on my door to try and pry some hard earned dollars out of my wallet. I informed her that I was an atheist and didn't subscribe to groups that live in laalaa land - just ones that base their views on rational thought and evidence. She said that Greenpeace wasn't a religion, but I begged to differ.

She then asked if I wanted a "better world for my children". Was initially taken aback that I looked like I might have children - in her defence I was wearing my trackies so she can be excused for thinking so. "Yes" I said "I do want a better world for my nieces" and that was precisely why I wouldn't support Greenpeace or any other environmentalist organisations. It is the very people that Greenpeace attack that make my world, this world, a beautiful place to live in. They provide me with light when it's dark, food when I'm hungry, movies when I'm bored, champagne when I'm celebrating, chemo when I'm dying, planes when I'm in the mood to view this beautiful world. They also provide me all the necessities that allow me to do the job I love - books, computers, software, internet, financial markets, the cup that holds my tea and the tea itself.

The policies and aim of these environmentalists are no less than a desire to turn man back into animals, scrambling around in caves, or at best eking out a meager existence on a farm. This world they desire would mean millions upon millions would stave to death, and they would be the lucky ones. The rest would live a short and miserable existence in a truly malevolent world. A world that would kill me and my nieces and all future generations of my family. I would no sooner align myself with the green movement as I would the Ebola Virus.

The day that the greenies advocate for nuclear power is the day I might (might, I add) start to listen to them. I think it's safe to say that day will never come.

Insurance Companies - not charities

There has been a bit said about our East Auckland mugging victim over the past couple of days. But one strange idea that keeps coming up is that the insurance company should pay for the cars that were damaged in this, all together inspiring, act of retaliation.

When did everyone start to think of insurance companies as some kind of charity? When you sign up for insurance there is a list of events that the insurance company will pay for - using you vehicle as a weapon is most definitely not one of them. Can you imagine the claims that would suddenly start flowing in if they agreed to this claim (not that I think the man was stupid enough to even put a claim in). Can you imagine the increases in insurance premiums.

If you really think this guy deserves his car to be fixed by someone other than himself, then send him some money - don't demand that the insurance companies should pay for something they never agreed to insurer.

Anyway it sounds like he doesn't want any help anyway - he accepts that it was his decision to ram the other car and that he should pay - good man!

Gang Hero - Jim Anderton

The gangs must be rubbing their hands with glee - Jim Anderton has handed them even more money on a plate with the banning of BZP party pills.

Drug dealers all round New Zealand must be stocking up on the pills and storing them for the oncoming price rise that goes along with any product that is made illegal or scarce - even the most stupid amongst us understand this concept - but apparently not the politicians. Mind you they are Socialists so their understanding of action and reaction is markedly limited at the best of times.

They are so lacking in common sense that I can only conclude that they have been partaking too much in their drug of choice - alcohol.

Of course like all things in business it's not guaranteed that users of party pills will continue to buy them - the law may actually do what it intended and reduce the number of BZP pills used ... as users switch over to speed etc - brilliant!

And now instead of chatting to the nice shop owner they will be chatting to gang members and the such like - New Zealand is now a better place.

Jim you are no ones hero but the gangs - up to now there have been no deaths attributed to the use of BZP in New Zealand - but just watch the death toll mount up in a month or so.

Kiwi girls

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results,but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean,the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man Dave, had married a New Zealand girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.

Thought: Could this be the real reason that more kiwi boys are marry lasses from overseas?

The Ex-Expat has a great blog on the ugly attacks coming from all angles at the lovely single kiwi lady.

I'm not sure why we have become public enemy #1 - all the single girls I know are extremely well presented, kind, fun and intelligent - yes they have opinions, but who doesn't?

I'm back ...

I'm back ... maybe not for long ... but I managed to get a full nights sleep last night and so brain is kind of operating again - hopefully it's back to stay - yay!

The right of self-defense

At the NZ Herald today I read that the New Zealand Police would like more Tasers to curb the increase of violence. I couldn't agree more with Senior Constable Denis Bergman's urgent request for Taser Guns to be issued immediately.

However, an interesting comment was made by Westport's Senior Constable and it goes as follows:

"... there were people who wanted to take away from police their ability to protect themselves and the public."

Please note Mr Bergman that it was the Police that started New Zealand on this path, when they denied New Zealand citizens the right of self-defence. Show your real concern for all members of New Zealand and call for the immediate cessation of persecution, by the Police, of those that injure or kill during the process of defending themselves and their property.

An immediate improvement to the lawlessness we now experience, will be to allow us to arm ourselves with Tasers (check out this model - it even allows you to play music). The first citizens that need urgently to defend themselves are the Dairy workers - I'm not sure how many have died over the years, I can think of two cases in Auckland off the top of my head.

Without the right to self-defence we have given all power to the criminal and the thug. To reclaim back our lawful power, it is not just the NZ Police that needs to be armed with Tasers, it is the New Zealand citizen that urgently need its protection.

Some moral support from the Police would be appreciated as well.