Well that's it, it's all over, I've had all my treatments. So apart from the odd catchup with my Haematologist, I can try and avoid hospitals for awhile - yay!
Actually thought I would be devastated that I couldn't do anything more to abate this cancer, but actually feeling okay about it. Apparently I will feel somewhat worse over the next couple of weeks due to the radiation, but it has been easy so far - just somewhat tired.
Spoke to the Radiotherapist about what to expect as the cancer takes control. Will have headaches and some nausea and loss of motor skills. But mainly I will become more and more tired and want to sleep all the time and eventually just stay in bed - actually sounds quite peaceful.
Today I met with the lady from Mercy Hospice to discuss my care as the cancer takes hold. Very comfortable with the services they offer and good to know that there is back up for when it gets difficult. They have nice newly renovated facilities at St Mary's College on College Hill with spa pools and massage facilities - oooh.
Showing posts with label Terminal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Terminal. Show all posts
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Strange things
Knowing that you are about to die is the strangest thing to live through. All situations and conversations take on completely different meanings.
Like the other day the administrator at daystay phoned me to book two appointments with my Haematologist. One for the 14th, one for the 26th. She said she wasn't sure if I would need the second one, but we'd book it anyway as the appointments are hard to get. Now normally one wouldn't think anything of that comment, but when you are terminal your first reaction is to think, why don't I need the second appointment? Don't they think I will make it that long? Stupid I know - she wouldn't even be aware of my status - but rational thought goes out the window at moments like this.
Other strange things:
* Wrapping up your business and personal affairs so absolutely and completely that there isn't anything really for anyone to do after you've gone. Quite satisfying I must say, but still very weird.
* Saying goodbye to friends that have visited from overseas or outside Auckland knowing that you will never see them again. And just pretending that like everything is normal - what else can one do - weird.
* Suddenly lacking sympathy towards others problems. It's so disappointing that people can't be happy with their lives - it's hard not to say "just shut up (or something stronger) and enjoy your life". And even if I did say this it wouldn't make any difference.
Like the other day the administrator at daystay phoned me to book two appointments with my Haematologist. One for the 14th, one for the 26th. She said she wasn't sure if I would need the second one, but we'd book it anyway as the appointments are hard to get. Now normally one wouldn't think anything of that comment, but when you are terminal your first reaction is to think, why don't I need the second appointment? Don't they think I will make it that long? Stupid I know - she wouldn't even be aware of my status - but rational thought goes out the window at moments like this.
Other strange things:
* Wrapping up your business and personal affairs so absolutely and completely that there isn't anything really for anyone to do after you've gone. Quite satisfying I must say, but still very weird.
* Saying goodbye to friends that have visited from overseas or outside Auckland knowing that you will never see them again. And just pretending that like everything is normal - what else can one do - weird.
* Suddenly lacking sympathy towards others problems. It's so disappointing that people can't be happy with their lives - it's hard not to say "just shut up (or something stronger) and enjoy your life". And even if I did say this it wouldn't make any difference.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Chemo #5
Chemo # 5 has been cancelled. I reported headaches and other problems so Doctors decided to do another CT scan to see what's what. The tumour is growing again, which means the chemo isn't working.
They have referred me for Radiotherapy, and at this stage I'm waiting for a meeting with the Radiotherapist to see if this is a viable option or not. Unfortunately I might not see them till next week - so I have nothing to report for now.
As you can appreciate this is difficult news to process at this stage in the treatment. I had my head around being terminal, just not so soon, but I suppose I've past the 3-month prognosis.
So conversations have moved from short holidays to palliative care. The funny thing is that I'm the healthiest person in the ward by a long shot.
They have referred me for Radiotherapy, and at this stage I'm waiting for a meeting with the Radiotherapist to see if this is a viable option or not. Unfortunately I might not see them till next week - so I have nothing to report for now.
As you can appreciate this is difficult news to process at this stage in the treatment. I had my head around being terminal, just not so soon, but I suppose I've past the 3-month prognosis.
So conversations have moved from short holidays to palliative care. The funny thing is that I'm the healthiest person in the ward by a long shot.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
