Working Bee

Yesterday we had a big working bee at home to get the landscaping finished in double quick time. At one point we had 25 workers and the whole place was finished and looking fabulous by the end of the day (photos to follow) - a bit like Mucking In, but without the cameras. We just need a new fence built and then we can lay the grass and finito - wonderful!

Thanks soooo much to all who helped, both Emilija and I very much appreciated the energy exerted and the time sacrificed on our behalf. Especially big brother Allan, who helped us buy the plants, plan the whole thing and organise the troops, mammoth effort all round - we love you all.

Hope you enjoyed the food & drinks, you were here so late we must have done something right. Also hope you aren't too achy today - I know I am and I didn't even do anything.

The little things that really piss me off!

My brain function has changed somewhat - I get flustered very easily, which I suppose isn't that unusual for me, but I now rave every time it happens. Poor Emilija has to listen to me rave at the TV all night - suppose it has its humours moments, but when I start to repeat myself that I get worried. Maybe I've got torettes :o)

But I thought I'd share with you some of the things I've been raving about for the best part of two weeks - all very minor really, but hey they're always the most annoying aren't they ....

Median Strips: The median strip is designed so drivers that are turning right across the road can sit whilst they wait for a gap in traffic. Too many of you pull into it at the last second, leaving your butt sitting out in the left lane so no one can drive past. Don't do this - it's really bloody annoying - start moving into the median strip as soon as you start to slow down (yes you are allowed to). Then you are out of the way and traffic doesn't have to slow down for you and in many cases stop.

Indicating: New Zealanders (particularly Aucklanders) just can't seem to indicate to save themselves and the ones that do only do so for a maximum of 1-second. They seem to be of the opinion that other drivers are psychic and automatically know what their next random move will be. Mind you having psychic ability wouldn't help much as there rarely seems to be any conscience thought granted to their driving. For your information you are meant to indicate for a minimum of 3-seconds. And for the record, no I don't believe in psychics.

Net curtains & blinds: Everywhere you look there are net curtains or blinds or curtains blocking out all the sun, so houses are damp and smelly. Please open up your houses let the light in and live healthy. No wonder we suffer from Asthma and mouldy houses. Stuff trying to insulate all the houses in NZ - just let in some healthy sun each day and fresh air and we'll save the taxpayer 1-billion dollars. And that's another thing that pisses me (and housemate off), we've just spent a small fortune on insulation and heating for the house and now we have to pay for the every other blugger to have their houses done. At least by dying I won't have to pay for anymore of this kind of crap (see it is torettes) and most of the rest of you support either Labour, National, NZ First or Greens so it serves you right - you voted for it.

Privot: You see it everywhere - especially on Council and Transit NZ land. This is a weed, it spreads like wildfire and smothers any plant or forest it grows near. It is not suitable as a hedge and it is not an attractive tree for your garden - kill it.

Toothpaste ads: I don't know why - they just really, really annoy me. And they must all use the same advertising company.

Kissing pets: They seem to have stopped showing owners and pets touching mouths in adverts, finally. But why people kiss their pets or let their pets lick them is beyond me - surely they must know where their pets mouth has been. If you do this vile activity you should be required to have a warning tattooed on your forehead, so I can avoid kissing you.

I'm sure there's plenty more that I've temporarily forgotten about - I'll get them off my chest as they come to mind. What little things annoy you - go on entertain me?

Daffodil Day

On Friday we have The Cancer Society's Daffodil Day.

Just thought I'd give you all an easy link so you can donate - or not - no pressure.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Just when I was wondering if the radiation was actually doing anything to my head, my hair fell out - so Carol got out the buzz cutters and I'm back to the commando look. I kind of look like this photo, but add on a gazillion kilograms and a big moon face and you'll get the picture - but not from me - I'm now advocating censorship.

I can tell you that cancer treatments is no beauty spa. What between the steroids, chemo, radiation and biopsies - I'm looking a little worse for wear. The only plus is the steroids make ones skin very smooth - just like a babys bottom. Fortunately for me I don't have to look at myself - tough luck for the rest of you.

Why not?

Not a bad week actually. Have finally settled in to the house both physically and mentally. And also settled into the short life mentality. Had a couple of weeks of feeling rather sorry for myself with thoughts of 'why bother' about lots of things. But had a long meeting with my Haematologist on Thursday and talked about many things including just getting on with doing whatever and not worrying about the 'why' all the time. It was a great meeting actually, just what I needed at that point and I came away feeling less like I was eminently about to kick the bucket - which of course I'm not.

So this week in the pursuit of my new philosophy called 'why not', I had a long massage at Bliss. Have decided that dying whilst having ones feet, hands or head being massaged will be the ultimate. As opposed to just holding my hand, which will quite frankly just piss me off.

Yesterday I saw The Dark Knight with big brother at the Gold Class lounge. Very good movie actually, made even better by paying $30 per ticket to have food brought to my reclining leather seat - arhhh bliss all over again. Also had a very fine lunch at One Tree Grill - well worth a visit.

Olympics has occupied some of my time, but not enjoying it as much as I thought I would, although loved the cycling street races and of course the gymnastics. I see that the Chinese have taken on those incredibly annoying slapping tube things that the bloody netball fans use here in New Zealand. Being a libertarian I'm not in to banning as a rule, but that f*ing contraption should not only be banned but come with a death sentence. It has completely ruined netball in this country and if it continues will ruin most every sport in the world. Now it's typical when you gather woman together en mass that they turn the situation into a screaming, ear-piercing, witch-like noise fest. But when men are doing the same thing, you know we are all going to hell in a hand basket.

Treatments all over

Well that's it, it's all over, I've had all my treatments. So apart from the odd catchup with my Haematologist, I can try and avoid hospitals for awhile - yay!

Actually thought I would be devastated that I couldn't do anything more to abate this cancer, but actually feeling okay about it. Apparently I will feel somewhat worse over the next couple of weeks due to the radiation, but it has been easy so far - just somewhat tired.

Spoke to the Radiotherapist about what to expect as the cancer takes control. Will have headaches and some nausea and loss of motor skills. But mainly I will become more and more tired and want to sleep all the time and eventually just stay in bed - actually sounds quite peaceful.

Today I met with the lady from Mercy Hospice to discuss my care as the cancer takes hold. Very comfortable with the services they offer and good to know that there is back up for when it gets difficult. They have nice newly renovated facilities at St Mary's College on College Hill with spa pools and massage facilities - oooh.

Strange things

Knowing that you are about to die is the strangest thing to live through. All situations and conversations take on completely different meanings.

Like the other day the administrator at daystay phoned me to book two appointments with my Haematologist. One for the 14th, one for the 26th. She said she wasn't sure if I would need the second one, but we'd book it anyway as the appointments are hard to get. Now normally one wouldn't think anything of that comment, but when you are terminal your first reaction is to think, why don't I need the second appointment? Don't they think I will make it that long? Stupid I know - she wouldn't even be aware of my status - but rational thought goes out the window at moments like this.

Other strange things:

* Wrapping up your business and personal affairs so absolutely and completely that there isn't anything really for anyone to do after you've gone. Quite satisfying I must say, but still very weird.

* Saying goodbye to friends that have visited from overseas or outside Auckland knowing that you will never see them again. And just pretending that like everything is normal - what else can one do - weird.

* Suddenly lacking sympathy towards others problems. It's so disappointing that people can't be happy with their lives - it's hard not to say "just shut up (or something stronger) and enjoy your life". And even if I did say this it wouldn't make any difference.

Radiotherapy

I started radiotherapy yesterday - so 2 down, 3 to go. Feel fine, not nauseous, not too tired. Procedure takes about 30 minutes from arrival to leaving.

Only side effect so far is that typing has become rather difficult, but probably more an effect of the tumour than the treatments. Obviously this makes it difficult to type this blog - but hey you'll just have to put up with mistakes and hopefully I can make myself understood.

So overall doing quite well. I had a couple of minor seizures last Saturday, the doctors upped the steroids and I've had no more since.

The house is coming into order and it's nice to be snuggled up in my room on my soft new bed.

My biggest stress is my inability to drive and the subsequent lose of my independence - it really is something I can not get use to, no matter how hard I try to rationalise it. It's also the main reason for my moods, but we battle on - or rather everyone else battles on. Am looking forward to the Olympics to keep my mind occupied.

When it rains it pours

Well moved back into Mt Eden today, with much help from many people (big hugs a kisses). The place is looking fantastic - except the outside of course which is a mud bath - so beware visitors, you might need your gumboots for awhile. Hopefully the rain stops soon and we can do the concreting etc.

Also I had my mask appointment with the Radiotherapists this afternoon, busy, busy. They basically heat a plastic mesh in hot water and then press it onto your face - kind of feels like a hot facecloth - but one that you can breath through thank god. Then when it's cold they mark the outside of the mask so they can line me up correctly each time I'm on the slab - so to speak. I'm somewhat claustrophobic, but managed to last the 30 minute process without losing it - almost nodded off at one point.

My five treatments start on Tuesday morning and run until the following Monday. Let's hope it can reduce the tumour significantly in order to give me some extra time. Let's hope it doesn't cause too much damage to the brain, but at the end of the day the tumour will have similar side effects anyway.

I am reasonably well at the moment, just have quick and extreme changes in temperament (yes more than normal), which is a little stressful, but probably more so for everyone else. So like everyone else I'm just blocking thoughts about being terminal as much as possible and getting on with things.

Waiting, waiting ...

Still waiting for my radiotherapist appointments. So no news really.

It's moving week, so today am resting and building up some energy, after a goodnights sleep.

Next step

Emotions were high on Monday, but after a good nights sleep I headed in to see the Radiotherapist. Had to stay in my room all day just in case they turned up, they will just vanish again if you aren't. Anyway I was there when he arrived and my brother Tony was able to be with me, so between the two of us we covered all the questions.

The plan is 5 shots of radiotherapy and this will start in about 10 days (they like a gap of 1-month between chemo and radiotherapy). Before then I go in to have a mask made for my face - that sounds like fun!

Everyone is reasonably confident that this will control the tumour and should give me an extra month or two or three.

So it's great to be out of the ward and back at Mum & Dad's. Next week the final touches are made to the house and moving day is Thursday the 31st - looking forward to this very much.

My PICC line half stopped working (will take in fluids, but not give bloods) so they took it out - now I'm free!! So back to two showers a day instead of one, in fact when I'm home with the gas hot water I might just stand in the shower all day.

Have lost my appetite this week, which is very strange for me. Was looking forward to losing some weight with little effort on my part, but they have put me back on 4mg of steroids so I'm sure I'll be in the fridge again.

Chemo #5

Chemo # 5 has been cancelled. I reported headaches and other problems so Doctors decided to do another CT scan to see what's what. The tumour is growing again, which means the chemo isn't working.

They have referred me for Radiotherapy, and at this stage I'm waiting for a meeting with the Radiotherapist to see if this is a viable option or not. Unfortunately I might not see them till next week - so I have nothing to report for now.

As you can appreciate this is difficult news to process at this stage in the treatment. I had my head around being terminal, just not so soon, but I suppose I've past the 3-month prognosis.

So conversations have moved from short holidays to palliative care. The funny thing is that I'm the healthiest person in the ward by a long shot.

Chemo #4

Well Chemo #4 actually happened last week, but I forgot to report on it.

Lowlights:
1) My Brain Tumour Buddy died this week. Such a great guy, I will really miss our conversations. He only had 1 week where he was in pain and realised he was "down to the wire". So it was very quick and the pain was manageable with morphine, so he didn't suffer. Obviously this gave me a big fright - he was told he had 3-6 months, just like me.

2) My niece Julia is still in hospital (along with her Mum) which means 6-weeks in jail. I must say they handle it well, I struggle with 5-days each fortnight let along full time, although they did get to spend Saturday night at home, until another temperature spike! The doctors are still trying to figure out what's wrong.

3) I have a 24/7 headache now. It started 10 days ago requiring no painkillers and built up till yesterday where I took codeine, panadol, tramadol and panadine and it still took 7 hours to get on top of. Overnight I slept for 9 hours and its back to requiring no painkillers - weird. Trying to figure out what it is, hopefully the doctors can pinpoint the source, hopefully it's just poor posture pain!

Highlights:
1) Was released on Thursday - a day early - because I was healthier than everyone else. Fine by me, sleeping at the hospital is never good.

2) Came off the steroids on Wednesday, so now it's just a case of some dieting and get this extra weight off. I forgot to have lunch today, which is amazing - haven't missed a meal since the 20th of May, let alone feeling hunger pains.

3) Julia is still in hospital which means I have someone to hang out with each day. Mind you she's back to hospital school tomorrow, so I'll struggle to catch up with her. Her school buddies are much more interesting than Aunty Unu (me).

So I've been resting up today, preparing for Chemo #5 tomorrow. The hospital is a very busy and tiring place to be. Hopefully they'll let me out early again, but I suppose the depends on the headache.

My nemesis!

Due to renovations, I have been staying at Mum & Dad’s place, waaaay out in the country, faaaar from everyone else.

Everyone asks what it’s like staying at home with your parents – what they are really saying is that they couldn’t live back with their parents. But M&D are those relaxed, laid back, well balanced kind of parents and it really is fine – yes they have their ‘ways’, but I’m sure I’m more of a pain than they are.

However, they do have one veeery big fault. They are absolutely and totally in love with Boss the dog. This love means the little bugger can do no wrong. He sits on the couch; he sits on the arm chair. These are places I like to sit and I hate (and I mean hate) animal fur. If you move around the room he’s there constantly underfoot, if you aren’t moving around the room he’s there, wanting constantly to be patted. If you get in the way of him and food he bites you, if you smack him for this, he bites you again. If you say to M&D that this is unacceptable, they say you shouldn’t get in the way of him and food. If he steals food from the kitchen, it’s your fault for leaving it in his reach. If he goes into your room and steals your clothes, it’s your fault for leaving your door open. Every door has to be shut or he’s into everything - it's like living in a jail. He is an un-disciplined, spoilt baby and generally has the run of the house.

So Boss has become my nemesis. He thinks he is hot stuff – probably because Dad tells him so every 15 minutes. He also knows that he outranks me and he knows I’m on to him, but what does he care, he has the love, adoration and protection of M&D.

But I’ll figure out a way to get the better of him and I think it will involve the cat (Puppy) who rules it over Boss. She’s another weird animal, but loves (ok likes) me, so between us I’m sure we’ll think of something.

Blogs of the week

I love this, I get to do a blog without all the hassle of writing anything ...

Goodbye Helen Clark, and thanks for NOTHING - Elliot Who?

Snouts in a $750 million trough - Not PC

Hanover securitised part of 5 -Mile Loan (Update 2) - www.interest.co.nz (if Fortress is involved then Hanover has no control over anything now).

A trip to Canberra with Alan Bollard - David Haywood

Why is Labour so hypocritical on transparency? - Kiwiblog

Get your own house in order (NZ) First - Cactus Kate and then also
The Party of moaning New Zealand - Liberty Scott

Who are the perverts? - Liberty Scott (don't trust your children with people that find this photo offensive - it's their brain that is perverted).

The money pit that is the Mission-On website - Show me the money.

Snoring causes cancer!

A common question I get is “why did I get cancer” or a variation of this “what causes Lymphoma”. I get all sorts of theory’s put to me – the food I eat, the cosmetic products I use, stress, karma (yes really), you name it, it’s been blamed.

However, in the darkness last night, whilst I lay awake to the symphony of snoring, I had a eureka moment! Snoring causes cancer – or rather the lack of quality sleep causes cancer. And here is my evidence ...

Every night 75% of patients in my room snore – yes really – it is a torture session for the likes of me. I am absolutely sure that this percentage is higher than the normal population? Of the remaining 25%, 98% would sleep with said snorers, so again don’t sleep and the remaining 2% - such as me – simply don’t sleep very well full stop.

So in my delirious sleep-depraved mind this all made perfect sense – lack of sleep, caused by snoring, causes cancer! The stats above are completely accurate and scientifically collated and will stand up to peer review. I’m sure I can even get a big research grant for this study.

So snorers – go to your doctor and sort it. Even if by some slim chance I’m wrong about the cancer thing, snoring is just plain wrong and needs to be stamped out immediately.

In fact this is my Rule for Life #2: Don't snore!

Where the hell is Matt?

Well I can't figure out how to put a You Tube video onto this blog so you'll just have to link to it here. After a difficult night in the hospital (not me, another patient) it made me smile.

Matt seems to have been everywhere - even Auckland.

Yet another limp wristed policy from National

I thought I was going to have to praise the National Party today. Not something I usually like doing and very rarely have any reason to either.

The NZ Herald sums it up like this:
Current law: Can be dismissed within a probationary period but can take a personal grievance claim if they believe the decision is unfair.

National's plan: Small businesses (with fewer than 20 workers) can dismiss a new staff member within 90 days, with no prospect of a personal grievance claim.

Now the thought behind this kind of policy is great for the marginal employee such as the unemployed, new migrants, the disabled or school leavers. It is this kind of employee that struggles the most to get on the first rung of the ladder. And given the numerous restrictions on employment and the existence of a minimum wage, the unemployed's chance of stepping onto that first rung is severely reduced and welfare becomes their lot. A situation that Labour for some reason just loves and since National sits shoulder-to-shoulder with Labour we expect National to come up with a limp-wristed policy such as this.

If National really wanted to make difference, it would remove all the limitations and restrictions on employment that they and Labour have forced upon the producers of this country, not waste our time with these silly half-arse rules that really will achieve nothing.

I bet within 91-days of this law being enacted there will be a court case where a fired employee will claim that they felt forced into the 90-day prohibition period and given the general lack of support for contract law by our severely impaired justice system, the employee will walk away with a fine sum of money. I see the next gravy chain in the making.

Hell, I'd sell my soul

Damn why didn't I think of this? Selling ones soul for $5,001 - I'd sell it for $5,000, which would be a excellent deal for Hell's Pizza, they'd get my soul well before they'd get Walter Scott's.

And haven't TradeMe turned into boring old farts - guys get a sense of humour.

Update: Well what do I know about all this heaven & hell palaver - apparently when you sell your soul the transaction takes place when you are alive. So I have no advantage over Walter at all, he would be much more useful in the promotion of Hell than me, him being a healthy 24 year old and all that.

Go Truckies

Good on the truckies, go for it - finally someone is protesting against the theiving bastards that like to rule it over us.

Gosh years and years of Kiwi's just rolling over has finally come to an end - and I lived to see it :o)

Update: I was in the city this morning, so got to see all the trucks - it really was alot of fun. The truckies seem to enjoy themselves and everyone I spoke to thought it was great - it was good to see some cheer going round for once. I think everyone feels that this Labour Government is on they way out and are just enjoying themselves?