Little House of Horrors (Updated)

Yesterday I headed up to the bach for Queens Birthday weekend. With me came four Monarch Caterpillars to be replanted on the swan plants that are all over the property.

Replanted them in a nice sunny spot and wandered around to check out the caterpillar population on the other plants. To my delight I found a big fat juicy one, hanging by its bum, ready to turn itself into a chrysalis. Returned half-an-hour later to find it was half way thru the process. It was so amazing, the speed of the transformation is so fast, you can watch it happening. So I stood there for about 10 minutes watching the magic that is nature. He wiggled and jiggled and with great effort he shed his furry skin to reveal a green slug which was partly chrysalised. It was truly an amazing event to behold when horrors-of-horrors he fell – splat on the ground – dead instantly. I was mortified – I felt a mother losing her child – I was devastated.

No wonder the Monarch Butterfly are supposedly* struggling for survival. All that effort for nought.

* Personally I see Monarch Butterflies all over the place, so wonder about this shortage report.

Update: Look at this for horror.
Hat tip Lolly Scramble.

Media 7

Watch the first 4 minutes of the latest episode of Media 7. Ha, ain't that the truth.

Fanny Adams

I just spent a lovely long weekend in Nelson with my dear school mate and her hubby. Great region of New Zealand and I can list numerous wonderful places to go in the Nelson area - one of the best place is the Saturday Market.

Here I found this wonderful underwear! They are just fantastic with jeans and they don't move anywhere all day - brilliant. They come in full brief and hipsters and available online.

Nemesis goes down

Back in July last year I posted about my parent's dog Boss who was making life difficult for me (and the rest of the world) when I was living at home for a period.

Well his behaviour hadn't changed one iota since and on the food/biting front, he was actually becoming worse. The lasted incident was a rather scary attack on Dad - blood was drawn, bandages were applied, doctor was sought. Dog got away with it scotfree. Don't get me wrong, he's a beautiful dog, who is lovely to be around 99% of the time. But he does manipulate the folks and doesn't know his place.

Anyway in the interests of harmony and fear that he might go at the girls one day, I decided that a Dog Whisperer (DW) was required. So on Tuesday I headed over to Mum & Dad's for a group lesson. Just like on TV Boss knew that DW was the real boss and she had control of the house instantly.

We did lots of role playing around the issues that we have with Boss and learnt what we were doing wrong and how to train him - super fun. The feeding bowl was the real problem, Dad showed DW how he feeds the dog, which meant grabbing a dog biscuit and throwing it at the bowl from a distance of about 3m - very funny.

During this lesson Boss broke into his rage and surprisingly went for DW, but more surprising, she just took her hands out of way, stood on his lead and commanded that he lay down. He kept trying to attack, but finally submitted - huge respect DW.

It was a great couple of hours, we learnt so much about how to control him and move ourselves up the pecking order. As you can imagine the easiest way was via food treats - very effective when you've got a golden retriever. Training him will be great fun, just have to make sure Dad (the big sook) doesn't let the side down.

So if you are visiting M&D, just knock on the door, give them time to arrange the dog, wait to be invited in and simply ignore Boss, don't touch, don't look him in the eye. You can say hello later, he just has to know that he is the least important thing in the room.

So Boss is no longer be my nemesis! I'll just have to find another.

BTW: I tried the training techniques back home on Foxy the cat - doesn't work!

Pain, pain go away

Yes I'm still very much here, have been offline due to a painful neck & shoulder - made more painful the more horizontal I got - thus sleeping became impossible and no painkiller seemed to work for longer than a day - never a night. Physio has been helping me for the last month and GP prescribe Pethidine and the pain is now bearable and sleepable. Anyway Oncologist suggests I have an MRI to check the cancer hasn't moved into the bone. I don't think this has happened, but it will be good to know for certain.

Anyway on a more positive note, today represents one year since my grandmal brain seizure, at the time I had an expected survival time of approximately 6-months, this estimate didn't improve when the chemo failed. Brain radiation was the next treatment and that seems to have done the trick. So one year means I can now legally drive again - must say totally ridiculous law banning me for a whole year. Epileptics and even Narcoleptics are allowed to drive as long as they are on medication - I'm as likely to have a seizure as you are, and you haven't even had the reassurance of a brain CT. Making blanket restrictions on patients isn't particularly productive, surely this should be a decision of the doctor and as I have proven each time I've been treated, I've outperformed each expectation. Some people just respond to treatments better than others.

First 100 Days

They once said that a black man would be President when pigs flew.

His first 100 days and - wham!! Pig's flu!

B3: Bloggers Bar Bash

Don't forget it's drinks on Thursday night at Galbraiths for the monthly B3 Bloggers Bar Bash. See you there from 6.30pm onwards.

PJ: He came, we heard, he conquered

I sit today in the hills of Christchurch watching the clouds sweep in and the rain fall - arh true bliss. Mind you rather cold down here - ekk not nice - but no one dies of the cold right?

Anyway I sit in a friends lounge which is probably the warmest spot known to man - fantastic. I'm visiting for a long weekend and struggling to stay awake after only four hours sleep in the last two nights - reasons?

1/ Sore neck that doesn't like it if I lay down or sit up or stand around or anything for that matter. It likes it if I go for a walk or make muesli at 3am or for reason #2 ....

2/ Up at 4.30am to catch the red-eye to Christchurch - what was I thinking? I must be mad, particularly as I knew I would be out late (1am) with reason #3 ....

3/ Late night with PJ O'Rourke - thanks to the CIS team, wonderfully organised.

Mr O'Rourke didn't fail to amuse all, he really is the most entertaining and long serving satirist in the world. At some point during the evening he commented that he doesn't have the intelligence that the great economists have. But to reduce a concept down to its core, add current events and brilliant observations, mixed it all together with fine humour shows a massive comprehension and fine intellect. As all writers can attest, it's hard enough doing the first, adding humour without sounding like a bitter fool makes it nigh on impossible.

PJ has the skills to point out a person's stupidity/weakness/hypocrisy, create a brilliantly revealing and entertaining story as to why, and then make us all laugh, hoot and cheer - but here's where a special talent is exposed - the victim of the humour will be laughing along with the rest of us (the Topp Twins and Jon Stewart seem to possess this skill also), very cleaver.

PJ's skills are highly useful in an era where the majority of the population possess little to no concentration skills. If you can reduce a concept down to a few words or sentences, then make them memorable by injecting a huge dose of humour, then you're there.*

Later in the evening I had the great pleasure of talking to the honoured guest face-to-face, which was all a little overwhelming. I've never meet anyone that I really admired before, it's hard to think of what to say and you forget every question you always wanted to asked - really you want to just grin and say 'you're fantastic' - over and over again. But we did talk about 'The Troubles' that we have both experienced - the fact that he has flown half way around the world for a grueling media fest in both Australia and New Zealand is to be admired. I would have to take the rest of the year off.

Of course the Libertarianz were beside themselves that we had tables right in front of the stage and like a bunch of kids we had grins from ear-to-ear. At the first opportunity we pinned him down for a group photo.

* Lynn Truss taught me more about grammar in one evening with Eat, Shoots & Leaves, than I learnt after 13 years of education. Mind you 'chemo brain' stops me putting this into practice - that's my story and I'm sticking to it - I can get a doctors note if you don't believe me. Bill Bryson inspired some kind of interest in the English language - over and above pig ignorance - with Mother Tongue, as well as bringing science to the masses with A Short Story of Nearly Everything. All this via humour.

Update - CT Scan

On Monday I had a scan to check that my latest chemo had destroyed the tumours. On Wednesday, Doc and I looked at the pretty patterns - I freaked out when I saw a round white tumour - turned out to be my heart - ha, kind of need that. So I decided to leave conclusions to those more knowledgeable than I. Doc couldn't see anything, but we waited for others to check out the CTs and as usual they confirmed Docs original opinion.

We also scanned my brain for re-staging purposes, curiosity and my sanity and it all looks the same as before - so all good there as well - phew!

My very sore neck is being drugged into submission - if the pain doesn't go away I might need an MRI, but I think it is a bad posture problem rather than a cancer problem.

So there you go, you are now informed.

Geographic Board

Without a doubt the Geographic Board seem to be running out of things to do, given their bizarre actions of late. They appear to be trying to avoid redundancies by creating work. Mind you I suppose ultimately this is the modus operandi of all government departments.

But seriously - for being time wasting irritants - they really should be next to be investigated for over staffing.

Not PJ writes on this matter over at Not PC.

IRD - hahaha

Oh joy, 250 IRD staff are to lose their jobs - not really enough for my liking of course, but it's a step in the right direction.

To all you softies out there that say "but what about the the poor workers" I say, working for any government agency makes one morally bankrupt - unless of course it is a temporary job in HR that lays off hundreds and thousands of workers. Working for the IRD makes one morally bankrupt and the scum of the earth. So no I don't feel sorry for any one of them. Save your sympathy for workers and businesses that contribute to the growth of New Zealand, not to its demise.

Another idea for redundancies is the whole of Ministry of Women's Affairs - yes 100% of it - its mere existence is patronising and an embarrassment to us all. Killing this gravy train will show the world that we are a nation that has moved leaps and bounds in regards to the female standard of living and any improvements is totally up to the individual - not the government - mind you I never attributed any gains to the government in the first place.

All ex-MOWA can go and work for a charity that try to raise the standard of living of women in those many barbaric countries that seem to be Islamic in nature. And I don't mean an admin job, I mean an on the ground posting in the middle of Afghanistan or such like. Mind you if they really cared about women that's where they would be already. Really they just want their snout in the trough.

Avatar Nerd!

I'm one of those strange people that just love winter, I love rain and I especially love storms and can't understand when people moan as soon as any of the above arrive. So I loved yesterday particularly - pity there was no thunder and lightening.

With the chill in the air, the central heating system has been switched on, along with the electric blanket and the Winkie sees the light of day - so to speak.

I have been entertaining myself reading books and going to the odd movie:

* Topp Twins 8/10 By the by, I met them once - at a Bayleys awards dinner - where they stole my bag and made me come up on stage to get it back. Great fun, fantastic ladies.
* Gran Torino 8/10
* Welcome to the Sticks 7/10
* Slumdog Millionaire 7/10
* In Bruges 7/10

And a whole list to view over the next month: The Wrestler, The Reader, The Boat That Rocked, Milk and Dean Spanley,

Great viewing, but none so great as Avatar - the last airbender, which is a Nickelodeon series that seems to grab kids and adults, male and female alike. I highly recommend the three 'books' in the series and would love to know when series two is due out.

But in the meantime, under production and screening in 2010 is a fantasy film of the first series, with our own Cliff Curtis to play Fire Lord Ozai, ooooooh I can't wait - another event to aim for.

So yes - as this photo demonstrates - I've become an official nerd and now I rue the years I've wasted in boring world. Or am I regressing back into my childhood? Oh well, either way, all good.

Cool

Sorry if you've seen this already - I know I'm always behind the eighth ball, but this is excellent.

Although you might get a better view if you go to the YouTube page.



And by the way, I've noticed that my spam mail has decresed by 90% of late. Does anyone know why?

New Zealand's Loser Models

Complaints have been made that the latest reality abomination - New Zealand's Next Top Model - does not meet some kind of racial diversity criteria.

Those races that are not represented in this appalling show should be proud that their young woman haven't joined the ranks of these shrieking, grumpy, miserable, underfed, female embarrassments. Christ my pre-teen nieces don't scream like that anymore - well except when they jump into a pool set at 14 degrees celsius, but fair enough, even their Aunty would let out a few choice swear words at that temperature and that's coming from a woman that doesn't even squeak when bungy jumping .

Please, put your brain in gear and spend your hand ringing hours worrying that your young women aren't represented in science, engineering, business, finance and the such like, not some useless modelling programme that is just designed to make them all look like fools.

Happy Birthday to Me!

For those that know me will understand that I'm not much into celebrating birthdays, but they do mark the passing of a persons life and represents one more milestone that I have passed.

No one thought I would make it to 41 years (including myself) and I make it to this stone feeling just fine and dandy - except for a slightly sore back - and somewhat tired due to late night at Galbraith's. A most enjoyable night discussing abortion, leaky homes and pedophiles, amongst other highly unimportant matters I'm sure. For a moment there we bloggers were outnumbered by non-bloggers, but that was quickly rectified.

I'm due my last chemo next Tuesday and that is that for this round, hopefully I can have a big break before the next bout of cancer rears its ugly head all over again. But we shall see.

I have booked some trips around the country, so it's Easter with the family at the big new bach, early May in Christchurch (apparently some hot air ballooning is on the cards) and the end of May in Nelson.

Next milestones: P.J. O'Rourke dinner and eating cheese again - both at the end of April. Oh and some time during the month I should be able to have the odd glass of wine, not that I'm too fussed on the wine front, but a really, really expensive glass of wine when one is out for dinner is a luxury I've been denied.

B3 - Bloggers Bar Bash

It can be a lonely life, that of the blogger, as we thump away on our keyboards so we can inform, amuse and yes sometimes even bore our fellow man.

But fear not, we have a solution: bloggers are welcome to join the Bloggers Bar Bash - B3 - which is to be held the first Thursday of every month. The next B3 is on the the 2nd of April from 6.30pm onwards at Galbraiths, 2 Mt Eden Road, Mt Eden, Auckland.

There are many seating areas in Galbraiths, so you may need to look around. Last time we were outside, but it might be too cold/wet for that? Peter and I have committed to attending so just look out for me in the head scarf and Peter, he's tall.

Non-Dorklanders: please stop in whenever you are in town, it would be great to meet you.

Obama's First 100 Days - Privileged Executive

I know he finds it hard, but Jon Stewart does occasionally manage to have the odd go at Obama - I think Jon would secretly like Bush back in office.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Obama's First 100 Days - Privileged Executive

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Done

Righto, the shave was performed last night by the lovely and safe hands of Carol Potts. Still do not have a digital camera by which to take a photo of the results, so in the meantime I present myself in 2007 when a first lost my hair.

Thanks to everyone for their kind and generous donations. If you were waiting until I had performed the deed before donating then go for it here.

I'm suffering from heat transfer, it was amazing how warm the peach fuzz (or bum fluff as my lawyer so kindly called it) kept my head. Have to wear the head scarf all the time at the moment.

And isn't it cold at the moment - every night at about 6.30pm I turn into an iceblock and have throw myself under a hot 30-minute shower to thaw. Made all the more pleasant without that annoying thing you peasants wear called hair.

Update: raised so far $3,950!

Shave for a Cure 2009

It's that time again - Shave for a Cure - to raise money for the Leukaemia and Blood Foundation to assist with blood cancer research to find a cure - please quickly, quickly.

It's hard to believe that it's been a year - yay I made it. I was bald in 2007 and most of 2008 and I'm bald now, makes it difficult to do the shave thing, but there is a layer of white fluff all over my head that could be done away with, so I'm going ahead with the shave - donate here!

PS: being a good strong Kiwi woman not many things bring tears to my eyes, but this ad does.

The Economist

Anti-Dismal and The Economists: Drug War 20 years on.

The video below doesn't accurately represent Obama's views - he is actually pro the War on Drugs.



Ron Paul has the idea.