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Not PC found Hugh Laurie giving us timely advice on "fixing everything".

Goverment Workers

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff. 'T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff. 'Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff. 'Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies........
drank the milk.......
pooed on the paper.......
beat up the other three cats.......claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and that is why the many losers in this country want to work for the government!

Random or Weird

Lea White tagged me to list 7 random or weird facts about myself. Now this proved rather difficult - nothing seemed random or weird enough. Anyway was on PCs couch this arvo and told him of my dilemma and he just headed for the computer and hey presto he emailed me a framework to work on - easy to see why he can do so many postings each week. Anyway thanks PC and sorry to those I've tagged, but I am actually interested to see your list.

1) With predictive texting, my name comes up as 'bomb'. Which some of you might say is perfect.

2) I'm related to Lord Nelson and Abraham Lincoln. True.

3) I've played four musical instruments in my life - violin, piano, bassoon and of course the recorder. Piano is my favourite, bassoon the most fun. Why I stopped playing them all is one of my regrets.

4) I used to be a lefty loser. I recovered from this socialist cancer, but it stuffed my immune system so now I can't overcome Non-Hodgkin's :o).

5) I own a house with a woman - but I’m not a lesbian (I know you all wonder). This is an increasing trend amongst those who don't want to live miles out of town, but can't afford a decent home, in a decent location by themselves. Now this definitely doesn't suit everyone, but Em & I are naturally brilliant - the key is keeping the money issues straight and keeping the palace clean and ordered.

6) My favourite album is the ‘Stranglers Collection 1977-1982.’

7) I hate, hate, hate, hate the colour purple. And I’m not too big on whistles either.

and a bonus fact
I'm a trader, an objectivist and a libertarian. Which means I make my own money, and I like to keep it.

So here's my tag list:
Not PC
Lang Mama
un-PC Lesbian
Mr Lineberry
Liberty Scott
Oswald Bastable
and probably in a vain attempt to end her idle blogging ways - Idle Vice - please come back!

Bureaucrats

Was at the hospital last Thursday for a checkup with my Haematologist. Went to sit down in the comfy lazy boys to wait, to find three ladies discussing how to brighten up the space. They had a couple of complaints that it was too dark - strange really because the rest of us keep wanting the lights turned off.

Anyway the discussion went on and on, so I couldn't help putting my two cents in - especially when the solution was going to cost money. So I stated - what should have been bloody obvious to anyone with half a brain - that there was no spare cash in the health system. I think they decided not to go with the idea that cost money - couldn't be sure of course because they were taking the recommendation to some committee - jesus!

So that was a complete waste of 15-minutes of one receptionist and two administrators, the former being a valid position. This is the sort of thing that doctors and nurses - valid employees - and us poor taxpayers complain about. Administrators are like rabbits, get two together and they just keep multiplying. Culling is the inevitable solution, but a majority of managers don't do their jobs by keeping the non-productive to an absolute minimum.

The new pragmatic National government only plan to maintain bureaucrats at its current level - which is just a massive cop-out. They know that the bureaucrats levels are so high they are slowing New Zealands growth and prosperity, yet they do nothing about it. Pragmatic policiticans - aren't we lucky - not!

Okay, I give up

On election night I stopped by the dairy to get some snacks. Selected the desired junk food and headed to the till to pay, to discover that I'd forgotten my wallet. Turned around mumbling that I was an idiot and couldn't pay. A lovely young English girl offered to pay. I automatically declined, but she insisted a few more times. I thought to myself if situation was reversed I'd want to be able to help out and pay - so I took her up on kind offer.

Which brings me to my insistence on paying when friends take me out. I now know that you are just trying to show your love and support and don't deserve my wroth. So I apologies for my un-graciousness and agree that we take go back to the normal 'turn and about'.

On to a more serious issue. Many of you are aware that my niece is a liver transplant recipient. Over at Ramblings and Rumblings Lang Mama introduces us to David Poa ...

John Boy's first mistake

Well John Key has made his first and worst possible mistake (didn''t take long) by not bring Rodger Douglas into the cabinet as Finance Minister.

Douglas is the only one that has the economic brains that could have limited the pain New Zealand is going to go through.

It is the current tax payers that will suffer as they watch their hard earned money being handed out to useless businesses and equally useless citizens who have been living beyond their means.

The elderly will lose significant chunks of their savings to inflation - mind you that generation has stolen from my generation by borrowing too much in the past, my generation paid all that off and now they are going to take up new loans for non-GDP raising infrastructure - do they never learn.

Freedom of Speech

Over at No Right Turn - Idiot/Savant attacks the National Party supporters for being Anti-Freedom of Speech after Labour supporters made a racket in Palmerston North when John Key came to talk to National Party supporters.

I know I'm stating the obvious but surely impeding John Key's Freedom of Speech was what the Labour protester wanted to do?

Anyway protesting during the election is kind of strange, especially coming from the party that is in power. Election time is really for campaigning not protesting, but of course I defend their right to protest - especially when it makes them look like a bunch of twats.

I'm staying in tonight to preserve my energy for tomorrow nights election party. I'm been rewarded by an hour long special of Eating Media Lunch.

Jeremy Wells for Prime Minister!

Couldn't agree more

Brain and fingers aren't the best all the time, so I'm just going to link you to blogs that I agree with - I know it's cheating, but they are better at writing than I am anyway ...

* Maori Party $500 blugging
* Nanny State Myth
* Obama - the great black hope
* Beware the Celebrity Endorsement

and finally humour or horror, not really sure, but well worth a watch and a reason not to vote Green.

Elections '08 (Updated)

Was watching Tito Phillp Fields on the news on Tuesday night when he was asked about the cost of his campaign. He commented that donations were coming in from churches and the such like. Journalist asked if the Brethren had donated - with true balls and without blinking he said "I hope they have contributed" (or something like that). Truly excellent - John or Helen would have blustered and weaseled on.

Why is it considered wrong that Brethren are involved in NZ elections? All other religions are in on the game - and unlike those religions I don't think the Brethren have been involved in any ethnic cleansing, mass murders or crusades (although I could easily be wrong, it is a religion after all).

Hopefully John Key gets a spine like Tito's soon - three years of spineless mumbling is just going to be so painful for you all. Mind you Nationals socialist policies are painful enough by itself.

Once again I look forward to casting my vote on Saturday - it's great to be able to do so for policies I totally agree with. This, plus finding my place in life with my success in trading makes me extremely proud and satisfied. Pity I can't enjoy it for longer, but best to get there rather than not.

A million thanks to all the Libz team for their massive efforts in campaigning and education over the years - particularly to Peter Cresswell for his blog.

Update 1: Sean Fitzpatrick said...
Since you raised the issue, yes the Mormans were responsible for an atrocity - in 1857 Bishop John D Lee, under orders from Bringham Young massacred 150 non-Morman new migrants - it became known as the 'Mountain Meadow Massacre'.

Update 2: Just pointed out to me that it was the Brethren not the Mormons (in origianl posting) that was asked to Tito - gee whizz I'm losing it - so all corrected now.

Question: Have they been involved in any mass murders or crusades?

Chill

How others react to my terminal cancer ranges from funny, to confusing, to just plain annoying.

It was portrayed to me that my month long blog silence upset a few people the other month. Some thought I had walked off this mortal coil (or was about to) and thus they started to freak out. Sorry about that I'll try to be more communicative, but at the time all I would have said was "I feel sick - god I'm going to vomit - shit this sucks - where are the real pain killers?" As you can see I'm a big baby when the pain kicks in - after all it was just for a sore shoulder.

Now I have to say I don't understand this getting all stressed out and freaky. What is there possibly to freak out about, we all know the outcome of this illness, we just don't know when, there's been plenty of time to come to grips with it. So stressing every time I go to see the doctor or just have an off day is really going to make life hell for all of us.

For the record, so you can relax a little, after I die a friend will post a blog letting you all know - so there's no need to second guess what's going on or freak my family and friends out with hysterical emails/calls/txts.

Others have said that they are scared to phone me. I have asked close friends what this might mean, but all they say is that they "understand". That doesn't answer my question and quite frankly makes me slightly paranoid - am I really scary? I know I can throw a wobbly if you don't let me buy lunch, but to be quite frank I've already told you I'm paying (can't take $$ with you) and the fact that you ignore me or make a stupid fuss of it all is just plain annoying and you're lucky a wobbly is all you get. Maybe they really mean 'uncomfortable' rather than scared - please don't - if I'm not up for a conversation or a visit I will tell you. Sometimes you might catch me in a bit of a mood, but I don't think that this qualifies as scary.

Now I appreciate that this is a difficult period - some of you have been through this, usually with an older relative true, but still it can't be easy. I try to help you all by talking about it - surely I must bore the pants off you all with the talk, talk, talk. But really the fact is we all die eventually and sure cancer isn't the greatest way to go, and sure 40 is way too young, but I can think of a lot worse so let's just make the best of it, relax and get on with life.

Ringo Starr would say "peace and love", I say "chill".

Update

Started CEPP chemo on Monday (Day 1) and just finished Day 3. Back to hospital for Day 8 next Tuesday and then nothing again until Day 28 when it starts all over again.

Yes I know this was earlier than first indicated, but I was getting more and more tired and was worried that the pain was going to come back, so thought I'd just get on with the job.

Feeling good and heading up north with the family for the long weekend.

TTFN

I'm back!

Sorry for the silence on my part, since coming back from Fiji I've been in somewhat of alot of pain, which meant going on some morphine based pain killers which meant I was nausea, which meant I was vomiting, which meant I felt bad.

However the pain has subsided now and I'm getting my appetite back (lost 6kgs in 2-weeks) and can communicate again.

Had a CT scan of my head, chest and stomach. The brain tumour is just about non existent now, but I have three new tumours, two on my lung and one under my arm. So I will be taking on some more chemo starting on the 4th of November. Fortunately, it is all outpatient stuff on a 28-day cycle. So we'll see how all this goes - I never seem to have much problem with treatments so hopefully it's the same this time. Anyway I can stop the treatments whenever I like.

Guest blogger #3

This has got to be the hardest thing you could ever have to do. I really want to write something to/for my sister Anna. How do you do this when you know one day you will not ever be able to talk to her again, moan at her, laugh out loud with her, get annoyed by her, sit and have a wine with her – a drink I mean. Okay and a whinge. All my life you have been there through thick and thin cliché, cliché, cliché. I have no idea how I am going to feel when you are gone but I do know that right now this whole thing is unbelievable.

Seriously Anna – no-one can write down clearly what they think – they don’t know what they think as it is too hard to think – way too hard. So if there is anything I can do, should do, you want me to do or not do – just let me know.

One thing I will never know is 'will the dog miss you so much too?'

AIG - welfare pigs have nose in trough

I heard a rumour last night that there was private capital prepared to take over AIG, but the AIG boys scuppered all attempts because they didn't want to lose their jobs. This doesn't surprise me at all - bloody corporate welfare recipients all of them. They stuff up what was one of the safest and stable companies and expect the taxpayer to foot the bill. If you were a US citizen you'd be looking for an exit. But don't come here this country isn't going anywhere fast - try Hong Kong.

Not PC sums up the situation best here!

The Markets

Loving this market correction - have been waiting for it to happen for over two-years now. For you non-shareholders, you should be starting to read up on companies and markets and look at putting some money in - these corrections only come round every 20 or so years and provides a perfect opportunity to get in. No rush though I'm sure there will be more pain to be had, but some sectors will bounce back quicker than others. First step is to open that brokerage account.

My advice is make the investments directly into the markets yourself - none of these investment funds/unit trusts - they rarely beat the indexes and charge you large fees for the privilege. If you not sure which individual share to buy then look at Exchange Traded Funds (ETFs). The management fee is low and allows you to invest in industries or countries that are otherwise too difficult to access.

I'm totally jealous that I won't be around to ride this one.

Guest blogger #2

This blog belongs to Anna but since you are all reading it and she is on holiday I will address it to you (which puts her in third person). My apologies for being so rude – Anna’s friend Jaqui.

Talking about death is hard – we’re unpractised and unwilling for it to feature in our lives. When someone has been told they have a definite timeline on this earth – it becomes something we reluctantly consider. We think about their death and then inevitably ours too. All my attempts so far to discuss the topic in a meaningful way have ended up sounding trite.

Anyhow, this is how it went for me when Anna called with the news that she had Non-Hodgkin’s Disease. At first, I was thrilled to hear her voice as we hadn’t spoken for some time. So I prattle on until she calmly states the reason for her call. Afterwards I am quiet for a long time. I remember thinking “some sort of religious framework would be helpful right now”.

I knew it was serious but I had a friend who had survived this disease and I knew of others too so I remained optimistic. Well, actually, although I thought about the fact it was a possibility she could die - it didn’t really register - it wasn’t real. At least not until an email arrived months later after she had collapsed and been taken to hospital – on the same day she got the all clear from the doctors. “Isn’t that unreal?” I keep repeating to myself “…on the same day!”

With this news I feel completely ineffectual in terms of how I might help and waiver between disbelief and being upset – trying to approach it all pragmatically. But I’m all over the place. I have heard that a number of terminally ill people experience severe loneliness as many friends and relatives stop or limit contact because they don’t know what to say or don’t want to intrude. This is not the case with Anna. She has dozens of people who want to “be there”. I try to find a way to be there too in a way that will not cost her a lot of energy and I know to limit my “helpful” suggestions. On one visit we talk about how strange it feels to be having so much communication when we generally make contact once or twice a year. I am careful when I ring not to talk twaddle. Nor do I want to ring and be morose or too chirpy but I do want to talk with her and stay close by. I definitely care but it’s awful to ask “how are you?” and in this sense the blog she has been publishing is helpful. The fact is that everything I do say sits alongside the reality that my friend is dying. Nothing seems appropriate or even really matters. My difficulties at work are trivial. My plans for the weekend or even next year... who cares? You get the picture.

I have thought about what it will be like knowing that she isn’t there and I just can’t. She always has been there since I was a younger version of the me I am now. It’s a long time but I haven’t actually changed much in that 25 years and I don’t think she has either. I can remember lots of things she said that made me laugh or sometimes even gasp in horror at her different take on the world. It didn’t matter that we didn’t always agree – Anna was rock solid and straight up. For a long time she and I pursued careers that were at best non-linear and unpolished. I derived a certain degree of comfort from this fact that I wasn’t alone so I do think it’s crappy that just as she really finds her niche in the business world this happens.

Much respect to Anna for nudging me get a grip by sharing what has been happening to her. It’s really helpful when people do talk about their death. I am going to get things sorted, make a will and if anyone I know gets sick I’ll talk to them about it – if they want to.

It’s a dual task remaining optimistic and being realistic. I’ve reached the stage where I am aware that this probably won’t be a miracle story. It doesn’t seem right but at last it seems I have accepted that it is so.

--------------------------------------------

Bula from Fiji. It's sunny, tropical and hot. Off to sit by the pool. Hope it's raining in Auckland :o)

Whew!

After a couple of months of testing for cancer and weeks in hospital for liver complications, the unstoppable Julia has come up clear on last weeks Melbourne PET Scan and Bone Marrow test.

As you can imagine this is a huge relief for all the family and anyone that knows my full-of-life niece. Stress levels have dropped and we can all take a huge sigh of relief.

For anyone who's had the pleasure of meeting Julia they remember a kid with a fantastic sense of life and easy humour - she will go on to remarkable things and will be remember for amazing feats.

Big hug Jujus.

Busy, busy ...

Well it's been a rather busy week, popped over to Melbourne with Mum and Yoke Har & Julia for Julia's annual PET scan - no results back from this scan as yet, waiting, waiting - very impatiently I might add!!!

Also went to see my cousin and his family who now live in Melbourne. It's great to see them happy and successful with two cute little girls with characters to match - a real credit to their successful parenting.

It was a whirlwind tour of just two nights so arrived back rather tired, but all well worth it - especially as I was able to buy Season Four of 'House' - very happy about that as I needed another fix of Hugh.

I have started to make up milestones I'd like to see - surviving to see Season Five of House is one of them, along with seeing P.J. O'Rourke who apparently is coming over in November for the CIS annual dinner. Obviously Xmas would be good and my 41st would be even better. But in the meantime I head off on holiday to Fiji on Wednesday for 6 nights - yay - never been there before.

Also managed to survive a Housewarming Party with a 1am bedtime - great to see everyone there and a success if I say so myself. Thanks for all the presents - if we haven't thank you directly it's because we had quite a few with no cards.

The house is now officially open.

Guest blogger #1

Fortunately for me I have great friends and family that are prepared to talk to me about dying. I'm aware that some would rather not hear it, but hey it's good for me and ultimately I think it's good for them. But the discussion rarely goes to how they feel about me dying and the emotions that they go through - I'm sure they are trying to protect me (no need, I'm not a wuss) and I'm now more than ready to find out. So I am inviting guest bloggers to share their views.

If anyone wants to put their views, just send it through - love to hear from you - you don't even need to know me.

First up is my great friend and supporter, the lovely Carol ...

====================================

I am delighted to be invited to post a wee piece - as guest blogger - for dear friend Annie Fox! But that doesn't make it easy to write.

Our story: Anna (her real name) lived with PC and me (CP) for several years. Now, living with a couple is not often an easy arrangement but the three of us muddled along very happily together.

We parted our flatting relationship as firm friends - moi as her life long hairdresser (yes, I'm the Carol responsible for the latest shave to the head!) and PC as her architect and fellow political compatriot.

In between permanent jobs, I'm now in the truly fortunate position of spending a little time with Ms Fox as her sometime driver, fellow massage-mate, and No.1 tea maker -- for as long as she'd like ...... and long I hope it will be!

But as often happens when you're faced with the realisation that someone you're close to will not always be just around the corner, thoughts are triggered about life and the profundity of it.

My thoughts (some of them) have been on motivation, particularly Anna's unyielding display of self-motivation. Every single thing we do in life leads us to do something else more successfully, more creatively or more productively. Every road has a destination. So what motivates someone who is terminally ill to do anything?

I appreciate the cathartic value of sorting out one's affairs in advance, but how Anna has the motivation to jump out of bed in the mornings beats the hell out of me. But jump up she does, and we're out each day on a mission or adventure!

And would I want to know if I was the one with finality ahead of me? Doctors these days are as up front with prognoses as we're said to want them to be, but do we really want to hear this news?

I won't say Anna's inspiring 'cause she said I'm not allowed too -- as she says: 'I'm not being inspiring, I'm just facing reality' -- but Anna's relentless reality-focus, her refusal to fake reality, is something few, if any of us, ever master, and it's something to behold. It's this character of hers that forms part of my reward for spending time with her.

Now, let's make no mistake, for all the uplifting tales however, this is not a feelgood story. It's an absolute tragedy, and there's no softening of the blow as time passes. But Anna, I have to say this, you're an absolute darling to spend time with -- here's to our next adventure!

Working Bee

Yesterday we had a big working bee at home to get the landscaping finished in double quick time. At one point we had 25 workers and the whole place was finished and looking fabulous by the end of the day (photos to follow) - a bit like Mucking In, but without the cameras. We just need a new fence built and then we can lay the grass and finito - wonderful!

Thanks soooo much to all who helped, both Emilija and I very much appreciated the energy exerted and the time sacrificed on our behalf. Especially big brother Allan, who helped us buy the plants, plan the whole thing and organise the troops, mammoth effort all round - we love you all.

Hope you enjoyed the food & drinks, you were here so late we must have done something right. Also hope you aren't too achy today - I know I am and I didn't even do anything.