New Year 2009 - crikey!

Yes I know I'm early, but I'm going away on Boxing Day and I'm not taking my computer with me.

Well this is a milestone I didn't think I'd get to and I'd like to thank all of you that helped me get through the last 7 months since my grand mal seizure and brain tumour discovery. I am really lucky to have such great friends and family who have helped me in so many ways - some just entertaining, some talking through the cancer/dying process, some both - all good.

And yes I know I wasn't really meant to get to this stage, but given the number of visitors I received I wasn't the only one who thought I was on the way out in 2008.

Now that I've thank you all I now must apologise for any tantrums I have thrown (and will continue to). I blame the following:

* constant doses of steroids - by the end of my CEPP treatments it will be a whole year.

* people fussing around me - I know you mean well but if you knew me you'd know I'm not going to react rationally. Fortunately for me my darling flatmate Em is not anywhere near close to fussy - much appreciated.

* annoying national and international events - remember I get to watch ALL the news and read ALL the magazines (not the woman's ones).

* just generally not caring what people think actually. I know quite a few of you hadn't realised my 'worldly' opinions on matters and found them not to your flavour - frankly don't care - life's more fun this way - try it out. Unless of course you read woman's magazines, then we don't give a rats arse what you think, cause you obviously don't.

Anyway next milestone is a visit to the majestic South Island and my 41st in April 2009.

Have a great Xmas day - don't eat too much - it's all about quality, not quantity.

Much, much love to you all.
Annie Fox!

PS: oh my god I forgot to thank the amazing working bee team who fixed the garden. You'll all be pleased to know that the plants have all survived and the grass has grown lush and thick and looking fantastic. Particular thanks to Allan (brother) for organising all of this, without a foreman we would have failed and special thanks to his team of church friends. We've finished!

Matchmakers

Matchmaking is a process that most singles are forced into at some time or other. Personally I think that it's great that friends partake in this process for their single friends. Sometimes it is extremely successful (a friend of mind was matched into a blind date dinner in the opposite island - now married and extremely happy), but most of the time it isn't, but that's fine as long as the matchmaker shows a little bit of sensitivity:

1/ Put some thought into it - just because your single female friend (SFF) and single male friend (SMF) are both fancy free, doesn't mean they will fall for each other. They are after all single for a reason, fussiness is probably it. However if you follow rule 2 below you can put in less thought as it won't really matter.

2/ If you are planning to match your SFF and your SMF at a party/dinner/BBQ, then please only tell one party to the match. It is just incredibly awkward if both know about the potential match. My suggestion is that you tell the man. Woman generally like to be pursued and men like to pursue*. Of course some discretion can be applied here depending on their personalities.

3/ Do not under any circumstances tell other people at the party about the matchmaking. You may have got all excited by the prospect of fixing up SFF/SMF and think it's all terribly fun, but an audience can be rather humiliating.

4/ But not telling either party to the match is probably the best plan - just organise a party and see what happens.

* Not sure the rules of engagement for the gay and lesbian matching, but I'm sure it's more fun than the heterosexual dance that goes on.

P.J. O'Rourke's visit to Australia rescheduled

When you have terminal cancer you find yourself planning to live to see the New Year or birthdays or concerts or breakfast. One of my big plans was to survive to see P.J. O'Rourke visit New Zealand in November this year. Unfortunately he also was diagnosed with cancer and so the visit was postponed. But he seems to be back on his feet again because the following was announced recently:

The CIS is delighted to announce that US political satirist and journalist, P.J. O'Rourke, is doing well after his cancer treatment and will travel to Australia in April 2009 to deliver the postponed 25th anniversary John Bonython Lecture. At this stage, the Sydney event will take place on either 21 or 22 April, with possible interstate and New Zealand lectures under consideration. Further details will be available in the new year.

So if he doesn't come to New Zealand I'll have to take a trip up to my favourite Aussi city, SYDNEY!

Hat tip: Not PC

Update

Just to let you know I started Chemo #3 today - all going well, feeling stronger than a month ago. It is looking like I'm going to do six rounds instead of the planned four.

I can have a scan after the 4th round, but I think I'll wait until after the 6th.

Pain is increasing across my back, but not enough to take painkillers or to be a real problem, it just constantly reminds that I have cancer.

Patronising

I've often been heard ranting something along the lines of "god I'd hate to be Maori" or Tongan or Samoan and I can assure it's not because I'm pleased to be Pakeha, I really couldn't give a toss what ethnicity I am - after all it is just like gender - only an accident of birth.

My dislike of being born Maori/Tongan/Samoan completely relates to the patronising way they are dealt with by the government - particularly noticeable with the 'social education' campaigns. The campaigns will portray a stereotypical Maori/Tongan/Samoan - usually obese and acting semi-ridiculous (or is that just standard for TV these days?). In fact the only time I don't see an obese Maori/Tongan/Samoan in a TV advert is when it is a non-government campaign.

The only 'social eduction' campaigns I can think of that don't focus on the Maori/Tongan/Samoan is the 'Buy NZ' and 'Retirement Commission' adverts. Maybe the overpaid, braindead policymakers in Wellington think that Maori/Tongan/Samoan don't have any money to buy NZ or the brains to invest*.

Must be frustrating to be treated like you are a basket case purely based on your ethnicity. Awhile back I saw an interview with a Maori women - now living in Melbourne - she loved living away for New Zealand where she is now treated as an individual and judged on her character attributes - good or bad - not by the fact that she is Maori.

The Daily Show has a wonderful skit highlighting the changes in patronising practices now that Obama is nearly President - well worth the view.

* I can assure you when it comes to investing, ALL New Zealanders lack the brains.

Update: Well maybe not ALL, but 97% would be a fair estimate.

Blogs of the week

Not PC: A message from American car makers.

Not PC: Recession doesn't have to mean unemployment.

Cactus Kate: Lamb to the slaughter.

Liberty Scott: So you are a Minister now.

Lindsay Mitchell: Talking about the Families Commission.

Micky's Muses: Quote of the day.

Mark Steyn: Vunerable Muslims. Hat tip Micky's Muses

RobiNZ

RobiNZ appears to be from the "this pisses me off" brigade - welcome.

New Zealand quiz shows always have chatty irritating people - I actively hope they don't win, in fact a sudden brain aneurysm would be fantastic. So I don't watch them and it's such a shame as I love quiz shows and every single New Zealand quiz show is absolutely appalling.

Also I wonder if they are rigged - how does one get on this show if one is not a bubbly dimwit with the IQ of a 2-year-old.

TV advertising - stop the abuse

Now speaking of advertising, I have to complain bitterly about TV adverts - yes I know this isn't new complaint - but I have some solutions.

TV & advertising executives are concern about the lack of eyeballs watching the adverts. They believe that viewers switch the volume off or watch via MySky and skip the ads altogether. Now the MySky issue I believe is relatively minor - not that many households have MySky and don't always view TV via MySky anyway - but this could become more of a problem with MyFreeview.

But the mute button is most definitely an issue and one that I practice regularly, for my own sanity. Remotes have been around for decades, but I haven't bothered with muting until more recently. Adverts and their presentation have changed for the worst, it is the advertising executives that are to blame and here are some of my suggestions to slow the eyeball drain.

* decrease the volume of adverts - yes I know you say that the volume isn't increased, but really you're either lying or deaf. The result is we reach for the remote to decrease the volume and since we have bother to pick it up, we might as well just mute the whole ad break.

* stop the impossibly stressful high rotation of ads. The Cigna funeral ad is by itself a good ad, but once you see it twice every ad break I'm ready to smash my head against a brick wall.

* stop the shouting male voice over - I'm not deaf, once again you stress me out and I'm not going to think positively about your product/service.

* stop making the adverts so aggressive with continuous violence and smashing - once again BLOODY STRESSFUL.

* stop using voice over woman that talk either like a little child or a porn star. It frankly sounds ridiculous - I land up just mocking the product and make a point of not buying it.

And here's an idea - try programming some decent shows and we might bother to switch on in the first place. 2008 produced the shortest list of quality TV I've ever seen:
* House MD
* City Homicide
* The Daily Show
* M*A*S*H (yes it's replaying on Prime)
* Ice Road Truckers
* Outrageous Fortune
* Rove
* Back Benches
* Agenda - sadly cancelled
* Media 7
* Piha Rescue
There are possibly others? But can't think of them at the moment.

So put simply, stop ANNOYING, STRESSING and BULLING the poor TV viewer - you'll find that if we are in more relaxed frame-of-mind we will just sit there and mindlessly watch your ads - possibly even happily.

Side Issue 1: To combat the eyeball problem, product placement has become more common practice. Don't mind this at all, great idea, but suggest that it needs to make sense or it will just look stupid - for example - the latest 007 movie placed Gordons Gin in a cocktail recipe on a first-class flight. You have to be kidding - Bond would never drink Gordons and first-class would never serve it. They would have Tanqueray - or maybe the lesser Bombay Sapphire!

Side Issue 2: What's with the perfume ads lately - they look like they are made in Europe and are frankly bizarre and amateurish. Maybe they should think about making them in New Zealand - because I may complain about the issues around our TV advertising, but our advertising production teams do come up with some classic ads.

Buy the world

I didn't expect to see cuts in government advertising until next year - if at all - so this 'possible' cut came as a nice suprise.

Liberty Scott has already posted on this issue, so I'll leave it with him.

Please National don't stop with just this campaign, there are plenty more that need the chop - ie. all of them.

Steven Joyce goes left

Taxi security reviewed after killing

"Transport Minister Steven Joyce will review the use of distress buttons, video cameras and safety screens to separate drivers and passengers."

Does the government have rules on the use of buttons, cameras and screens? If they do have these rules then the only thing Joyce needs to do is get rid of them.

But let's presume that they rules don't exist - why is the government wasting time and resources on this matter - surely it is the responsibility of the taxi driver what security he would like. Just like they decide if they are going to have a Navman or CD player or air freshener. Just like I decided to have an alarm system installed in my home - the neighbour didn't and was burgled on the weekend - she will now install an alarm.

Or is Joyce thinking about using our money to pay for taxi security? Please no - that would be a major slide down for this successful entrepreneur. Didn't take long.

The Daily Show

My day ends each night at 10.30 tucked up in bed watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart on C4.

Here is a classic from Dec 2 - Obama/Clinton Sarcasm - brilliant, sarcasm is truly the highest form of wit! It's my experience that those that think the opposite tend to be from the "PC/offended" brigade.

Some of you may have been introduced to The Daily Show when Jon Stewart had a go at the NZ Government July 2007 on freedom of speech violations.

Modern Maths

1. Teaching Maths In 1970: A logger sells a truck load of timber for $1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980: A logger sells a truck load of timber for $1000. His cost of production is 4/5 of the selling price, or $800. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990: A logger sells a truck load of timber for $1000. His cost of production is $800. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000: A logger sells a truck load of timber for $1000. His cost of production is $800 and his profit is $200. Your assignment: Underline the number 200.

5. Teaching Maths In 2008: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is totally selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $200. What do you think of this way of making a living?

Topic for class participation after answering the question:
How did the birds and possums feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. If you are upset about the plight of the animals in question, counselling will be available.)

Hat Tip: Lang Mama

Big Girls Blouse

Kiwis travellers are complaining that they have been stuck in Bangkok for four days and NZ government hadn't managed to bus them out.

Honestly what's wrong with these people - just go to the train station and get a train down to Malaysia - New Zealanders were once known for their ability to look after themselves - the socialist system has turned too many into useless, whingers with limited problem solving abilities.

Best Blog of the Week

Not PC found Hugh Laurie giving us timely advice on "fixing everything".

Goverment Workers

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff. 'T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff. 'Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff. 'Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.'
CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies........
drank the milk.......
pooed on the paper.......
beat up the other three cats.......claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......
put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and that is why the many losers in this country want to work for the government!

Random or Weird

Lea White tagged me to list 7 random or weird facts about myself. Now this proved rather difficult - nothing seemed random or weird enough. Anyway was on PCs couch this arvo and told him of my dilemma and he just headed for the computer and hey presto he emailed me a framework to work on - easy to see why he can do so many postings each week. Anyway thanks PC and sorry to those I've tagged, but I am actually interested to see your list.

1) With predictive texting, my name comes up as 'bomb'. Which some of you might say is perfect.

2) I'm related to Lord Nelson and Abraham Lincoln. True.

3) I've played four musical instruments in my life - violin, piano, bassoon and of course the recorder. Piano is my favourite, bassoon the most fun. Why I stopped playing them all is one of my regrets.

4) I used to be a lefty loser. I recovered from this socialist cancer, but it stuffed my immune system so now I can't overcome Non-Hodgkin's :o).

5) I own a house with a woman - but I’m not a lesbian (I know you all wonder). This is an increasing trend amongst those who don't want to live miles out of town, but can't afford a decent home, in a decent location by themselves. Now this definitely doesn't suit everyone, but Em & I are naturally brilliant - the key is keeping the money issues straight and keeping the palace clean and ordered.

6) My favourite album is the ‘Stranglers Collection 1977-1982.’

7) I hate, hate, hate, hate the colour purple. And I’m not too big on whistles either.

and a bonus fact
I'm a trader, an objectivist and a libertarian. Which means I make my own money, and I like to keep it.

So here's my tag list:
Not PC
Lang Mama
un-PC Lesbian
Mr Lineberry
Liberty Scott
Oswald Bastable
and probably in a vain attempt to end her idle blogging ways - Idle Vice - please come back!

Bureaucrats

Was at the hospital last Thursday for a checkup with my Haematologist. Went to sit down in the comfy lazy boys to wait, to find three ladies discussing how to brighten up the space. They had a couple of complaints that it was too dark - strange really because the rest of us keep wanting the lights turned off.

Anyway the discussion went on and on, so I couldn't help putting my two cents in - especially when the solution was going to cost money. So I stated - what should have been bloody obvious to anyone with half a brain - that there was no spare cash in the health system. I think they decided not to go with the idea that cost money - couldn't be sure of course because they were taking the recommendation to some committee - jesus!

So that was a complete waste of 15-minutes of one receptionist and two administrators, the former being a valid position. This is the sort of thing that doctors and nurses - valid employees - and us poor taxpayers complain about. Administrators are like rabbits, get two together and they just keep multiplying. Culling is the inevitable solution, but a majority of managers don't do their jobs by keeping the non-productive to an absolute minimum.

The new pragmatic National government only plan to maintain bureaucrats at its current level - which is just a massive cop-out. They know that the bureaucrats levels are so high they are slowing New Zealands growth and prosperity, yet they do nothing about it. Pragmatic policiticans - aren't we lucky - not!

Okay, I give up

On election night I stopped by the dairy to get some snacks. Selected the desired junk food and headed to the till to pay, to discover that I'd forgotten my wallet. Turned around mumbling that I was an idiot and couldn't pay. A lovely young English girl offered to pay. I automatically declined, but she insisted a few more times. I thought to myself if situation was reversed I'd want to be able to help out and pay - so I took her up on kind offer.

Which brings me to my insistence on paying when friends take me out. I now know that you are just trying to show your love and support and don't deserve my wroth. So I apologies for my un-graciousness and agree that we take go back to the normal 'turn and about'.

On to a more serious issue. Many of you are aware that my niece is a liver transplant recipient. Over at Ramblings and Rumblings Lang Mama introduces us to David Poa ...

John Boy's first mistake

Well John Key has made his first and worst possible mistake (didn''t take long) by not bring Rodger Douglas into the cabinet as Finance Minister.

Douglas is the only one that has the economic brains that could have limited the pain New Zealand is going to go through.

It is the current tax payers that will suffer as they watch their hard earned money being handed out to useless businesses and equally useless citizens who have been living beyond their means.

The elderly will lose significant chunks of their savings to inflation - mind you that generation has stolen from my generation by borrowing too much in the past, my generation paid all that off and now they are going to take up new loans for non-GDP raising infrastructure - do they never learn.

Freedom of Speech

Over at No Right Turn - Idiot/Savant attacks the National Party supporters for being Anti-Freedom of Speech after Labour supporters made a racket in Palmerston North when John Key came to talk to National Party supporters.

I know I'm stating the obvious but surely impeding John Key's Freedom of Speech was what the Labour protester wanted to do?

Anyway protesting during the election is kind of strange, especially coming from the party that is in power. Election time is really for campaigning not protesting, but of course I defend their right to protest - especially when it makes them look like a bunch of twats.

I'm staying in tonight to preserve my energy for tomorrow nights election party. I'm been rewarded by an hour long special of Eating Media Lunch.

Jeremy Wells for Prime Minister!